Everything I’ve Been Through Has Led Me Here in General, Love

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I don’t know where to begin.

My body is buzzing – vibrating, pulsating – with the earth. It will take me months to process this inner work but I can tell you this: Everything I’ve been through has led me here so I could step into this week without holding back. The heavy weight of my past – I can see the divine order of every single experience now. IT ALL HAD TO BE.

I’ve said it before but I didn’t truly know it. I didn’t understand it. There were too many layers of pain and abandonment and fear and ideas of complete unworthiness covering the place within me where I know at my core that… I am actually meant to be here. Right here! I trust. I surrender. I am safe. I SHINE. I smile writing these words because even with this phone in my hand I can feel my being and the silence it holds. Where have I been all this time?! I spent ten minutes at the center of Schiphol airport, simply standing there, in the middle of frenzy, rooted to the ground. What is this life? Where is everybody going?

I use social media to share my journey but I’m understanding now that every word of wisdom, every nudge toward love that I’ve been putting out to the world these past years have all been directed to myself. I’ve been telling the world all the things I’ve been missing. Everything I long for.

I’ve found it. This – this is a new life. I have been at 1% of my actual capacity these past four years. I’ve been half asleep. In pain. Trying so very hard but not quite getting there. And look what I created! I’m in awe at what the old version of me was able to do carrying such a heavy burden. I think about the change I will bring to the world now that I can bring the other 99%… And I can’t stop giggling. There is so much love all around!

Know this: The barriers are on our side. Everything we need we already have, it’s just a question of taking down the walls you’ve built around your heart and learning to receive. Remembering how to let go. How to come home.

And yes, I’m going to share it all. Just give me time.

I’M SO IN LOVE WITH ALL OF YOU!

You’re coming on this path with me now! It’s your turn! Time for you. Consider these words the first spark. You’re already cooking.

xo,

rachel-sig