Beach days with my beach babe and I gotta say, postpartum life has been a wild ride. When I had just given birth I felt so gloriously magical and beautiful that when I stepped on a scale for the first time since baby was born and it read 2kg (5 lbs) above my pre-pregnancy weight, I thought “cool!”. Fact was, that scale was broken and I was actually 12 kilos (27 lbs) heavier than I was pre-pregnancy.
What this showed me though was such a beautiful thing… Confidence comes from within and when we feel beautiful, we affirm that to ourselves again and again. We tell ourselves a positive story and start feeling at peace in our bodies, and that peace shines through and becomes true beauty in the eyes of other people, too. Feeling beautiful is everything! Looking beautiful is something else entirely and when we look at ourselves judgmentally from the outside, we obsess about weight or blemishes or wrinkles or whatever it is and the more we do it the more separate we feel from the miracle that our body truly is. At 27lbs heavier than “normal”, I felt so gloriously beautiful and non-attached to the idea of weight that I literally just assumed I had dropped back into my pre-pregnancy body overnight. Ha!
Of course, when I went for a check-up and stepped on a real scale at the midwife’s office and it said something drastically different… I felt completely surprised. And what did I do? Start panic dieting and obsessing over a number on a scale? NO! I hugged my baby and dropped back into my bod and worked my way back to peace. Peace, peace, peace. It’s the only thing that matters. And now it’s been a year and I stepped on a scale at the spa for the third time since baby was born just yesterday, out of curiosity. Turns out I am now 5kg (11 lbs) above my pre-pregnancy weight and as I’m writing this, the words “pre-pregnancy weight” are leaving an off taste in my mouth. Maybe there is no pre or post… Maybe there is just now. This body, this baby, this moment. We’re all so damn beautiful – I think if we stopped thinking about it and started FEELING it instead we’d all be so much more at peace.
Moral of ramble: love your body. Search for peace. Errdamnday.