Episode 58 – On The Road Again
Listen to this episode here!
In this episode Rachel is joined by her husband Dennis while traveling through the south of France. They talk about their adventures through Europe and their differences in terms of the kind of traveling they enjoy. Dennis shares what it’s like seeing the world from the eyes of someone who grew up on a tiny island and Rachel shares how she has changed as a traveler since becoming a mom. They share their favorite parts of the journey so far, challenges that keep coming up and also talk about where in the world they see themselves raising their baby girl.
[000:00] Rachel: Hi and welcome to another episode of From The Heart: Conversations with Yoga Girl. Today I am talking to you from beautiful south of France, and I have my very handsome, very beautiful husband here on the show with me as well. Welcome to the show for the I don’t even know what time, Dennis Schoneveld!
Rachel: (laugh) Is that the extent of your French? No, there’s another word you say.
Dennis: I have a list.
Rachel: You have a list. Tell me what you say.
Dennis: Au pair.
Rachel: Au pair. (laugh) You know the English words that are taken from French.
Rachel: (laugh) Fromage.
Rachel: There’s one more.
Rachel: (laugh) Parapluie.
Dennis: Oh yeah, parapluie.
Rachel: It’s interesting to me because we always travel places where I know how to speak the language, and I don’t speak French, and it’s very, very frustrating to be in a country where you can’t speak the language and where they don’t speak English. You’re fine with that.
Dennis: Yeah, I kind of like it.
Dennis: Sometimes it’s a little frustrating because you want to communicate, but I really like it because it’s different. It’s not one of the four languages that we get on the island, so it’s-
Rachel: There’s a lot of hand gestures and …
Dennis: A lot of making, uh … What’s that game called again where you have to, like …
Rachel: Charades and stuff? Yeah, same.
Rachel: I made a huge fool of myself yesterday when I was like … We are here in France, for anyone who doesn’t know, we’re here in south of France because my best friend is marrying Dennis’ best friend in the union of a lifetime. The wedding is, between Patrick and Olivia, it’s happening here, in south of France, where Olivia grew up. So Olivia is teaching me little bits of French, and I took French in school along with a few other languages, but nothing has stuck. Then yesterday I was trying to say something, like, “I need a blanket,” or whatever. The waiter I asked, he spent an hour laughing at me. He would like return to the table, look at me and laugh, and then he went away, and then he came back and he laughed. I just, I think I should just give up French. It’s not my language, for sure. But how do you feel being here?
[002:00] Dennis: It’s amazing here. I think this is the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen.
Rachel: Right, you keep saying that.
Rachel: In your whole life, from all the places you’ve been.
Dennis: From all the places I’ve ever been, this is the furthest of anything I’ve ever imagined.
Rachel: What did you think?
Dennis: I didn’t think much. I didn’t think anything. I thought it’s Europe. I feel like sometimes a lot of things in Europe kind of seem to look alike, but no, everything has their own culture. And this is so, so different from everything. Like, the way the buildings are made, the architecture, the … the flowers, everything grows here! All the greens it’s … Yeah, I’m still getting … it’s still hard for me to understand why everything is so pretty.
Rachel: Why everything is so pretty! I mean, anyone who has been to south of France knows it’s just one of the most gorgeous places on Earth. I have a hard time understanding Olivia grew up here. Like, she got to live … So, the house we’re in right now, it’s the most gorgeous house, just on the countryside, and it’s surrounded by olive trees and there’s, uh-
Rachel: Cherries everywhere, and dates, and lavender, lemons. I mean, everything just grows. So they have their own little olive … they make their own olive oil here, in the garden. It’s just so beautiful, I can’t even believe it. The market yesterday, that was, like-
Dennis: Yeah. That’s a nearby town, ten minutes away, but also really, it’s beautiful.
Rachel: Yeah, so special. It makes me want to, like, stay here.
Rachel: I mean, the hardest part … so we’ve been traveling now for … three weeks?
Rachel: Only three? It feels like a long time. It feels like three months.
Dennis: Nah. It’s maybe two and a half weeks, even.
[004:00] Rachel: Really? Because we’ve done a lot. Like, we started south of Spain, so we saw my dad in Marbella. We borrowed a house from a family friend there. Then we had Olivia’s bachelorette party, so you were alone with the baby.
Rachel: And then we hopped back to that house, and then they came back, the owners came back to the house-
Rachel: … so we had to change, early. And then we had no place to live. And then we randomly got to stay at this gorgeous hotel thanks to a friend, which was just such a super nice experience. Then from there we were supposed to fly to Marseille, and then from Marseille it’s like a 45 minute drive to Olivia’s place. And then there was a strike, so … Which apparently is really common.
Dennis: In France.
Rachel: In France. (laugh) You can google, like … they schedule strikes.
Rachel: That I have a hard time. Like, why …. They strike over the weekend.
Dennis: Yeah. It’s very convenient.
Rachel: Very convenient, and very French, apparently. I think it’s, yeah, a super cultural thing. So our flight was canceled, so we couldn’t fly where we were supposed to fly. So we decided after lots of back and forth, okay, we’re going to fly to Barcelona, and then from Barcelona, which is north of Spain, drive to Marseille, which is about four to five hours of driving. And that whole part was actually really smooth. I was a little panicky about that.
Dennis: Yeah. You’re panicky about a lot of things.
Rachel: I’m panicky about most things. But the baby did the best, I mean, out of all the traveling, that was the best part, the car.
Dennis: Yeah, she was happy, she was … she slept for two hours and was super happy for an hour, and then the last hour I felt like you had to entertain her a lot.
Rachel: Yeah. I save the iPad for like emergencies. The last forty minutes I was like, “Okay, Lion King.”
Dennis: On cue.
Rachel: On cue. Let’s do it. No, but maybe she’s just a car baby. She’s definitely not a plane baby.
Dennis: Yeah. I keep saying this, she can be … when she’s in a seat, like at dinner, like a child seat at dinner or in a car I feel like she does a lot better than when she has to be in someone’s lap. When she’s in someone’s lap she has to squirm, she has to wiggle, she has to get away. But as soon as she’s in her own seat, it doesn’t matter if she’s strapped or not, she does really good.
Rachel: Right. She feels like she has more independence, I think.
[006:00] Dennis: Yeah. I think the plane, as soon as she has her own seat, when she’s old enough to get one, it might become easier. Or it might not.
Rachel: I can’t wait for that day, and I’m also dreading that day too. But no, I’m really proud of her. But then, yeah, we made it here. It’s been two and a half or three weeks, but we’ve done a lot, we’ve moved place … Not like we went on vacation to this one place, unpacked, and then we’ve spent two and a half weeks vacationing there. We’ve really been around.
Rachel: And you love that.
Dennis: I love it.
Rachel: And I hate it.
Dennis: I think at some point you’re going to stay at home alone, and I’m going to be traveling with this baby all over.
Rachel: It seems like it, I don’t know. What is it that you like about just going all around, you know? Changing things up all the time.
Dennis: I’m from a little island! I didn’t see jack shit until I met you! (laugh)
Dennis: And now I get to see the world, and every time we see, like, a corner like this, or we come to a place this beautiful, it makes me wonder what else is there to see? Like, I know nothing! So I feel like I’m young, we’re in our primes, we’re not, like, old and tired, you know?
Rachel: Old and tired. Definitely tired! (laugh)
Dennis: So we should be able to … And then I went, I can’t remember, like three weeks ago I went for a half Ironman in-
Rachel: A month ago, yeah.
Dennis: A month ago? I went for a half Ironman in Florida and I see this mom traveling alone with two little babies and, like, not complaining… It’s a mindset.
Rachel: I know. What do you think is the most challenging part about traveling? Is it me or is it the baby?
Dennis: It’s you.
Rachel: By far. I mean, I’m starting to understand that.
Dennis: It’s you and that dog.
Rachel: But before the baby… Shut up about the dog. The dog is fine. Before the baby it was never like this. I mean, it was always, like-
Dennis: It was never easy. Traveling, when we started traveling together, that’s a nice way of saying not with you, but … traveling, especially with Ringo, it’s always been-
Rachel: For you. That’s so weird. We have totally different experiences.
[008:00] Dennis: Yeah, for me that’s been really … Getting on the plane and getting off the plane with a dog, and then with security that doesn’t like dogs or does like dogs, there’s like all of these things that we can’t control coming into place, and then I have to be on my A game, best prepared, in case something happens to Ringo, that means that you’re going to get a panic attack, and then I’m going to have to handle that shit too. So there’s a lot of stress coming with that.
Rachel: It’s so interesting because for me it was always super easy to travel with Ringo. I was never worried about Ringo. You’re always like, “What if they take him? What if we get to a country and he’s not allowed in? What if, what if …” I was like, why would that ever happen? I felt so calm with him, and safe. And now with the baby I’m completely freaked out and you are so chill.
Rachel: Why? I mean, I know they’re not going to take the baby away.
Dennis: Yeah, the baby is allowed everywhere. The baby doesn’t need a service baby card or …
Rachel: Yeah, but I mean, when Ringo goes on a 10-hour flight, he doesn’t spend the whole flight barking.
Dennis: No. As soon as we get on the plane, I’m relaxed. But from getting out of the car, checking in, through TSA twice in Aruba, and then onto the plane, that for me is the hardest thing. It’s the most challenging thing.
Rachel: And now I feel like traveling with both of them, like, you don’t even know that Ringo is there.
Dennis: Yeah. But that stress that I have, it’s still there.
Rachel: (laugh) Oh my god, I wonder where this is going to take us, if we’re going to go, like, more toward your way or more toward my way, or if I’m going to mellow out and you’re going to mellow out, and, you know … Like, maybe you’ll mellow out about the dog, and I’ll mellow out about the baby.
Dennis: Oh, the dog, I just stepped away.
Rachel: (laugh) Yeah! You did really step away.
Dennis: You guys have to do everything.
Rachel: Me and Ringo, we can do it. Ringo’s an easy … I just need your help to carry him.
Dennis: Yeah, I carry him, that’s no problem.
Rachel: But I guess for me, what I’m getting at is it’s been almost three weeks of vacation, but I’m really tired, because for me, I love … I really realized that the first place we were staying didn’t have closet space and we were in our suitcases, and you are the messiest person on fucking Earth, like, sharing a bedroom with Dennis is like sharing a bedroom with a tiny tornado. You don’t know what’s dirty laundry, what’s clean laundry, everything is in a ginormous pile, and then he’ll pick up a piece of clothing, smell it, and be like, “Uh, yeah, this is probably good,” and then pick it back up. And it’s just all over.
[010:00] And I like to unpack, organize my stuff, have it folded, hang it neatly, and then I know, like, okay, I’ve arrived here. I like to make a little alter, I like to roll out my yoga mat, and I like to make a home where I go, which is hard to do if every two or three days you’re changing place. So I realize now, like, I would have rather done, okay, two weeks, like I would have loved to do two weeks in the south of France, for instance.
Rachel: We should have just …
Dennis: Aren’t we here two weeks, technically?
Rachel: Yeah, but it’s not the … yeah. So technically, here again, technically we are in south of France for two weeks. We’re here at Olivia’s place for four or five days, and then I go to L.A. tomorrow.
Dennis: And I go to Amsterdam, to drive back down.
Rachel: And then you go Amsterdam and then you go back to south of France with a gang of bachelors, twelve guys in a van, they’re going to drive Amsterdam to [Bealize?], and it’s okay, when this podcast is out, Patrick will already know.
Dennis: I don’t know, isn’t it out before he knows?
Rachel: No, he will no. He doesn’t listen to this shit!
Dennis: Okay. (laugh)
Rachel: Anyway, you’re going to drive back to south of France, and then I’m in L.A. for two days, and then I come back and then I have no place to stay. Olivia’s place is full, my mom is here in some hotel. I have to find a random place for two days, and then we’re going with Olivia and all of the bachelorette girls, you’re going with all the guys somewhere, and we’re going to be in another place for two to three days, and then, again, we’re back at Olivia’s or we have to rent a place … you know? We didn’t plan this.
Dennis: Well when do we plan?
Rachel: I feel like I plan!
Rachel: I spend so much time planning and preparing and it’s just … I don’t know, maybe we should just stay here. Like, we stay an extra week, we get a little house somewhere and we just stay an extra week and we do nothing.
Dennis: That could be a thing. I’m looking forward to Stockholm too, to be honest.
Rachel: Yeah, but we have six weeks in Stockholm.
Dennis: I don’t think that’s true.
Rachel: It is true.
[012:00] Rachel: Yes. Okay, well anyway, I … yeah, this has been a new realization for me, actually, that this whole non-relaxed traveling person, now, that I am. I really … I like the experience of arriving at a place. Like, being here, I love it! It’s the most beautiful space. It’s absolutely amazing, I’m so happy we’re here. Being in Barcelona was amazing. Like, so nice to be there.
Dennis: So great to walk around with a baby all over the town.
Rachel: No, but I mean, that was really, really great. And being in Spain was beautiful. It’s the in between shit, getting to and from and then packing and re-packing and doing all of this stuff, and one thing is-
Dennis: That’s part of it.
Rachel: You don’t do any packing.
Dennis: I do my own packing.
Dennis: I pack my own shit.
Rachel: You don’t pack anything of the baby’s. Like you don’t know where her food is or her stuff or what’s in carry-ons and hand luggage.
Dennis: My job is to drive.
Rachel: Yeah, but still, I mean that part is, at least for me, it’s stressful making sure we have all our stuff together. But then I’m also thinking, okay, isn’t it the most amazing problem to have, that traveling is hard? You could also just choose to stay at home and live in one place.
Dennis: Yeah, sounds boring.
Rachel: Sounds boring to you. But I kind of want to do that. I would be fine if we didn’t go anywhere else.
[014:49] Rachel: So, this, anyway, I shared this on Instagram, I think, anyway, this shift of identity, for me. I mean, being this, when we met I was this total hippie girl person. I literally did not have a home and I really, I wanted to keep it that way. I was really content not having a place where I lived, and I would go from country to country or place to place and job to job and then literally just tried to make money to travel and see a new place and then just continue like that, and I was content doing anything, whatever, like really didn’t mind anything. And now I have, I don’t know if I have evolved or if I’ve regressed? I am now this very opposite of that, like, I like to be in one place! I don’t like to move. I’m also much pickier about how I travel. I like to travel comfortably where before I would fine … Like, I would be that person if anyone, you know, was at an overbooked flight and they were like, “Oh, we’ll give you a hundred dollar gift card if anyone wants to get off the flight,” I was like, “Hell yeah! Atlanta!” Like, that sounds like a fun place to hang out for the day, and I would get off the plane so that I had an extra hundred dollars to spend doing something and explore the city. Now, the thought of me standing up and being like, “Yeah, I’ll give my seat up,” like, never in a million years would ever happen. I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, or if it’s something I shouldn’t label as good or bad.
[016:00] Dennis: I think you’re, we or you, are in a transitional period. I think as soon as the baby is a little older and a little easier to travel with, it’s not going to be a problem anymore. I think the only problem we have is that we need to learn how to travel light.
Rachel: Speaking from Mr. Shopaholic over there.
Dennis: Yeah, I love to shop. No, but it’s true, for me too, for you-
Rachel: Let’s talk about your shopping … you love to shop! You love to shop. You live in a place where you cannot do any shopping.
Dennis: Yeah, that’s true, except for board shorts.
Rachel: You buy, like, bike gear online, and board shorts once in a while at the surf shop in Aruba, that’s it. And then we go some place, like we went to Spain, and Dennis is like, “Oh my god, a mall!” And he spent two days at the mall looking at shit he doesn’t need! And I’m like, how is this interesting?
Dennis: I don’t know! A pair of jeans of mine, I think the last time I went shopping for that was like five years ago at our wedding.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember! Do they still fit?
Dennis: Yeah, they still fit. They go a long way. They stretched with me.
Dennis: (laugh) But, when I do go shopping, it’s … we go shopping, but then nothing happens for like five years or three years. So, I don’t know.
Rachel: But now you were stressed out because you didn’t have space to put your shit.
Dennis: Yeah, we’re traveling, I have to travel with three suits for this wedding, because it’s a three day wedding, and we all have certain outfits that we have to match the groom.
Rachel: He’s so picky, Patrick! Oh my god. You’re going to look awesome.
Dennis: I hope so! I’m trying.
Rachel: No, it’s going to be perfect. So I went … Yeah, had to buy all of these clothes that I don’t have, because that’s not what I wear. And then I’m going to put it back in a closet for another wedding.
Dennis: You shouldn’t though, you should start wearing it.
Rachel: Not just suits, but like, jacket or the nice shirts that you bought now.
Dennis: Yeah, maybe.
[018:00] Rachel: That’s the thing, you get, like, at least that’s how I feel. Now I have all of these really nice things that we have, we’re just going to get them for the wedding, beautiful earrings and things I wouldn’t normally wear. Like, it would be nice to just … in Aruba all I wear is yoga pants, all you wear is board shorts, and that’s just how we live.
Dennis: Yeah, flip flops.
Rachel: Yeah… It’s nice! I miss home.
Dennis: I really like wearing clothes.
Rachel: You really like wearing clothes! Oh my god. Isn’t it funny how, like, we’ve gone toward, like, we’ve crossed, kind of.
Dennis: Well, for people to have an idea, you grew up in a country where there is seasons, and I’m sure most of the people listening to this podcast live in a country where there is seasons. I live in a country where it’s 30 degrees Celsius, which is about 90 degrees Celsius-
Dennis: … the whole year round. Uh, 90 degrees Fahrenheit all year round. So that means all I can wear is a light color shirt, because if you wear a dark color shirt, even if it’s a dark green or a dark blue, you’re going to be sweaty. You need to wear shorts, a light, like a thin shorts, and then flip-flops. Anything else you wear you’re going to be sweaty if you’re outside. If you’re in the office working in the A/C, it’s a different story. But if you’re just being normal then-
Rachel: Just wearing pants is, like, a big deal.
Dennis: You can ask any of the yoga teachers that moved to Island Yoga for us, to come work with us. They come with all of these, like, beautiful kimonos and scarfs and all hippie-dippy, and then after a week they’re basically almost naked with flip-flops.
Rachel: I know, we had to implement a little dress code for our working team at Island Yoga, because everyone was just hanging out in bikinis and customers never knew, like, who to ask. Like, are you hanging out here just at the beach? Or are you working here? It was a huge shock for everyone, including me, actually. (laugh) But yeah, it is a good thing. It’s nice to dress up, it’s nice to … Do you ever get the feeling, like, okay, this is like the real world, you know? When you go to Europe and …
Dennis: Where we are? No.
Rachel: No. Not here.
Dennis: This is fairy tale.
[020:00] Rachel: This is like paradise, fairy tale, south of France. Like, who lives here? Of course Olivia would live here, of all people. The Rothschilds, they live here. Oh, I’m getting so many comments, every time I talk about Olivia and Olivia’s family a lot through social media, people start commenting super weird shit about the Rothschild family and that they’re evil and the bankers. She’s not from that Rothschild family, they have no relation. It’s just same name, but totally different family. So, there’s no Illuminati or anything going on here. We had to have a whole conversation yesterday with Olivia’s dad. He’s like, Illuminati? We’re Jewish! Illuminati is like a Catholic thing, it’s a Christian thing. We’re all Jewish, no. It is not the same family. But no, it’s really funny. But this idea of like the real world being, I guess, not Aruba.
Dennis: Yeah, for me, I don’t know what … For me Aruba is the real world. I went to Barcelona, in the city, and it’s just concrete jungle. It’s like a show. I go there, I guess it’s the same as like when they go to Aruba and they look at the beach, the beach is a show. For me it’s the opposite. The cars and …
Rachel: (laugh) You sound like you’re like Mowgli from the Jungle Book! What’s that Eddie Murphy movie?
Dennis: (laugh) Oh, Coming to America.
Rachel: That Coming to America movie, like, Dennis is taken out of his little island, this Caribbean boy, he’s never seen a car before! (laugh) Look, a building! (laugh)
Rachel: What’s this under my feet? What kind of grass is this? It’s concrete. (laugh)
Rachel: That’s how you feel? You’ve traveled now with me for so long.
Rachel: Yeah. I mean, you’ve seen the world.
Dennis: Yeah. Well, I don’t know, now that I … like, every time we go to a new place-
Rachel: Feel like I haven’t seen anything yet.
Dennis: I haven’t seen shit. No, but, I guess that’s me before I was 20. Or, when did we meet? I was 23, you were 21.
Rachel: 23, 21, yeah.
Dennis: I used to go to Holland a lot to visit my father’s side of the family, like, every summer. But besides that, like, I went to Costa Rica maybe two or three times.
Rachel: And New York.
[022:00] Dennis: Yeah.
Rachel: To visit his ex-girlfriend, yes.
Dennis: At the time girlfriend.
Rachel: At the time, clearly, at the time girlfriend. (laugh)
Rachel: Yeah, but I mean, I don’t know how you would do living permanently in a city.
Dennis: Me either. I don’t want to.
Rachel: I don’t think I could do it anymore.
Rachel: No, no. I think about … I don’t know. Me and Olivia were talking about this a lot. Like, I’ll talk to her in the day, I look at her, she’s on maternity leave, every day she’s at a new café somewhere in the city and wearing these cute clothes, and it’s been a little chilly, everyone’s hanging out together, all our friends, you know? It’s like a city life is a different thing. Everything is at your fingertips all the time. There is so many things to explore, concerts and shows and theater and museums and all this stuff. I’m like, the grass looks so green over there. The Stockholm life, and being on maternity leave, which I didn’t really do. And then I was telling her, I was like, “I’m so jealous sometimes when we talk and you’re hanging out over there doing this,” and she’s like, “What? I’m jealous of you all the time.” … There’s our baby.
[024:57] Rachel: Alright. We are back on track, podcasting with toddlers. Definitely, definitely challenging sometimes. So, if we were to move somewhere, like Stockholm or Amsterdam, I mean, where would you envision yourself living if we wouldn’t live in Aruba?
Dennis: I think Stockholm.
Rachel: Yeah? Just like that, nowhere else.
Dennis: Uh, it could be more places, but I have a really strong connection with learning Swedish, so it would be Sweden. I know Stockholm now. I’ve been there, like, 10 times, if not more.
Rachel: 10 times?
Dennis: You don’t think so?
Rachel: Like a hundred times!
Dennis: Okay, I thought you said that’s too many times.
Rachel: I mean, you’ve been like for three month stretches three times.
Rachel: You’ve spent, like, an insane amount of time in Stockholm.
Dennis: We spend a lot of time this year too, but we’ve been back and forth quite a bit. I don’t know, Patrick lives there now, Olivia lives there, so we’d have like the-
Rachel: (laugh) You just want to go where Patrick is!
Rachel: Maybe. (laugh)
[026:00] Dennis: And there’s a really nice bike café there. So I have my own life there.
Rachel: You do. No, you do. You have like a cool little bike community, biking over there.
Rachel: And friends, and we have family, so I could see that. But do you think you could live in a city and not be … you know? Not get like city fever?
Rachel: How regular people get island fever. Imagine no ocean, not just no ocean and no beach and all of that stuff, but imagine Sweden, specifically, October through March?
Dennis: I can’t imagine it because I’ve never been there for that.
Rachel: October through March where it’s not just cold … and Dennis says, “Oh, we’ll go snowboarding all the time.” Like, if you live in Stockholm, you don’t go snowboarding all the time. It’s not like we have a mountain in Stockholm. It’s like six hours away, you know? It’s like a whole thing. So, not only that, but also it’s really dark. Like, DARK. You don’t see the sun a lot for six months straight. That’s the hardest part.
Dennis: Yeah. Well, I have to experience it for me to judge it. For me to hate it.
Rachel: Maybe we should do a year. I don’t know.
Dennis: Yeah. One year, I’ll go up there-
Rachel: I don’t know if I could do it.
Dennis: Take lessons … We have to do it before she’s four. Or five.
Rachel: Why? Why?
Dennis: Because then she goes through, like, this-
Rachel: That’s so specific. Before she’s four? What do you mean?
Dennis: But then she goes to real school.
Rachel: She doesn’t go to real school when she’s … nothing substantial happens until she’s, like, nine.
Dennis: Yeah, but there’s, uh … how do you call it? There … by law, kids have to go to school, like, on Aruba. For an Aruba registered-
Rachel: Yeah, but what’s first grade in Aruba? I thought that’s when you were six.
Rachel: Yeah, so not four.
Dennis: So that’s what I meant. No.
Rachel: Yeah. That’s still kindergarten and stuff. Sweden first grade is seven. And then, like, I don’t know. We had family friends who took their kids traveling and went from place to place, or home schooled, or whatever, until like 9 or 10, because then you start learning substantial stuff. But, I don’t know, I really like the idea of Montessori school, and we have really good ones in Aruba now, which is fun. I mean, there’s great option in Stockholm and Sweden and stuff as well, but it’s just it’s dark and cold and I don’t know.
[028:00] I have this complete, new found … I mean, not new found, but I guess a year, since a year back, since having the baby, like, I love Aruba. I love our home, our house, our bedroom.
Dennis: Yeah. We have it really easy.
Rachel: Yeah, just home.
Dennis: We set up a really good foundation there.
Rachel: My bathtub!
Rachel: I miss my bathtub!
Dennis: I love home, I miss home too. But-
Rachel: Not like I do.
Dennis: Not like you do.
Rachel: (laugh) So, going to school, could you imagine Lea Luna going to school in Aruba or Stockholm or somewhere else?
Dennis: I can’t compare it to Stockholm, I’ve never been to school anywhere outside of Aruba. But yeah. I always see those cute little girls walking in the city in Stockholm, they all have to wear these traffic vests when they cross the road.
Rachel: I know! It’s so cute! That’s not for school, it’s for kindergarten.
Dennis: Oh, okay.
Rachel: And they have to hold hands like a human chain. It’s super cute.
Dennis: It’s so funny.
Rachel: It’s super, super, super cute. I don’t know, I have a hard time seeing her go to school school in Aruba.
Dennis: Yeah. Because you don’t know what it’s like. And I don’t know what it’s like in Stockholm.
Rachel: Yes. But could you imagine her going to school in Stockholm?
Dennis: The same way you can’t imagine-
Rachel: But I mean, just the thought of, like, the public school systems and how, like, the quality of the schools.
Dennis: Oh, I think, yeah, I think the school probably would be better in Stockholm than in Aruba, quality-wise. No offense to Aruba. But, yeah, I don’t even know what the school looks like in Sweden. It’s like a tall building instead of like a big … Like, in Aruba, I feel like the schools are big, there’s a big yard outside, and I feel like in Stockholm it looks like hotel, it’s like a flat.
Rachel: What!? No, there’s always a park or something around it, or like a yard, like a courtyard or something in the back.
Dennis: And then they have to hold hands and wear these vests-
Rachel: They have to hold hands and … Not when you’re in school, it’s only when you’re little, when you’re kids. But, I don’t know, I just … the idea, also, like the fact that in Aruba you have to drive everywhere, you know? She couldn’t walk to school or she couldn’t walk to her friends’ house or take the bus, as she grows older. There’s no public transportation, really. All of that makes it feel like, okay, maybe Stockholm would be something. But I also have this feeling, like, I don’t know, when do you have to even decide that kind of stuff?
[030:00] Dennis: When they’re a little older, so let’s say when they’re 13/14, I feel like a city is way easier to get around.
Rachel: Yeah. But also probably not as good. Like, in Aruba, there’s no crime, you know.
Dennis: Yeah, that’s one thing. So like in the city you can get on a bus, you can get on a train, you can get on a tram, you can go anywhere, anytime. You’re free. But you’re more exposed to not so good things.
Rachel: Yeah, and drinking and stuff.
Dennis: You’re more exposed to drinking, you’re more exposed to drugs.
Rachel: When do kids or people start drinking in Aruba?
Dennis: I don’t know, I don’t know what to say. I would say around 14 or 15 they try to start sneaking, you know, their beer and their vodka.
Rachel: So it’s the same, like everywhere.
Dennis: It’s kind of the same. But the difference that I felt, maybe this is my personal experience in Aruba, like, I wasn’t ever exposed to drugs. Maybe I was lucky in the group of friends I was in. But hearing stories from other people from Stockholm, like, they knew about life already when they were 14.
Rachel: Right, right. Are you talking about my siblings?
Dennis: Actually, no.
Rachel: I hope not.
Dennis: No, I don’t think any of your … No. I don’t think so.
Rachel: No, no. No, I mean, it’s definitely a different experience. But, I don’t know, there’s people that homeschool their kids, where you just kind of live at home.
Dennis: Yeah. That’s never been on my horizon.
Rachel: No? It’s not even like veganism? It’s forty years away? (laugh)
Dennis: No, no. I felt like homeschool was always for rich people, and growing up we never had-
Rachel: It’s also like a hippie thing. Like, people that don’t agree maybe with the public school system or what they teach.
Dennis: And how do they pay a teacher to come teach them?
Rachel: I don’t know, I don’t know. You should look into this. Yeah.
Dennis: This is like the Santa Monica hippies?
[032:00] Rachel: The Santa Monica hippies? The Hippy pippies? No, but I mean, you can teach your kid yourself.
Dennis: Yeah, but come on.
Rachel: What do you mean? You could teach her all about, like, vitamins and stuff.
Dennis: I would rather have someone that’s educated teach my kids.
Rachel: (laugh) You’ll be like, look Lea Luna, there’s the sun, the biggest vitamin.
Dennis: It goes up from there, it goes down there.
Rachel: (laugh) She’s learned so much, oh my god. I don’t know, I guess time just will have to tell.
Rachel: What I do really miss, one of the major things that I do miss in Aruba is, I mean, friends for her. Because there isn’t really, like, we have no kids around our neighborhood where she lives. She can’t run down the street and knock on someone’s door and just be like, you know, at least now that we live far away from everything else. I don’t know, is there any community that’s like that?
Dennis: I guess if you go to the gated communities.
Rachel: Yeah, but come on.
Dennis: Like, if you live at the golf course. No, but I have a couple of friends that have the same age babies as Lea, so you just have to plan it better. It’s not like you just go to a park and then you’ll randomly see another-
Rachel: Yeah, that’s the thing that’s so fun. Like, you’ll go to the park with your kid in the stroller and you’ll meet other kids, and there’s more of that community being built everywhere you go. There’s people everywhere and things to do everywhere, which in Aruba it’s really different. Like, we spend a lot of time at home. But yeah, we’ll have to see. And I know, I mean, I was thinking about it now, like, seeing Lea Luna and Hunter, Olivia and Patrick’s baby together, like, it’s the cutest thing. Like, really the cutest thing. The cutest thing, the cutest thing. And now, I don’t know, we have a little dress for her, and she’s going to wear the cutest little dress for their wedding, and Hunter has a little suit thing he’s going to wear. That’s kind of what I look forward to the most about this wedding is seeing them in their cute, adorable little outfits.
Rachel: What are you most excited about?
Dennis: About seeing all my friends together again.
[034:00] Dennis: I kind of feel like it’s not about us, this wedding is not about us, I feel like I have to tell you that too. This is Olivia and Patrick’s day.
Rachel: But it’s the biggest day of all time! (laugh)
Dennis: But, I feel like it’s a kind of little reunion, because all of Olivia’s friends are your friends, and all of Patrick’s friends are my friends, so it’s kind of like the wedding we had four years ago.
Rachel: It’s really similar, the guest list, yeah, really similar. I mean, this is half the size. Can you believe it?
Dennis: Uh, I didn’t know that. But, yeah, I guess.
Rachel: No, I mean, it is, it is, it’s the best of both worlds. It’s the Sweden world and the Aruba world. I’m really excited about your speech.
Dennis: Which one? A non-existent one?
Rachel: The one that you’ve been writing for a month.
Dennis: Yeah … I don’t think that’s happening!
Rachel: I’m going to help you write.
Dennis: I’ll stand next to you and lift my champagne up.
Rachel: No, we have separate speeches.
Dennis: Oh, that’s not going to happen.
Rachel: Dude! We have separate speeches. It’s already been submitted we’re the toastmasters for like a long time.
Dennis: Well, that’s my first thing to do, then, after this podcast.
Rachel: No! No, no no no. I’m going to help you, I’m going to help you. You’ll write something very … It can be like, okay, so people … Weddings in the U.S. are really different from Swedish weddings. Swedish weddings always involve toastmasters, because there are so many toasts. And it’s really structured and people talk for a long time. But it’s also, like, that’s the best part about a wedding, because it’s so emotional and people tell these really heartfelt stories, and everyone is crying. I mean, it’s a really big thing. In Aruba, no one speaks, ever, for anything. Really. Getting the Aruban side of every wedding to stand up and speak, it’s really hard.
Dennis: In Aruba it’s very against the culture to do, like, a look at me kind of thing.
Rachel: Yeah, to attract attention.
Dennis: Yeah. So going, standing up, making a toast is like a look at me kind of thing.
[036:00] Rachel: Yeah, of course, I know. But it’s also, you know, because it’s dedicated to Olivia and Patrick, it’s just for them. It’s look at them, it’s like pouring love toward them.
Rachel: Yeah. I mean, it could literally be you standing up and toasting and you say you love them, and then that could be your toast.
Dennis: But I can say that in private.
Dennis: I don’t need to say it in front of everyone.
Rachel: You need to! Because it needs to be balanced! Olivia has so many speechers.
Dennis: Okay, let’s go back, you say you’re going to help me. When are you going to help me?
Rachel: I’m going to help you, uh, when I’m on the plane on my way back from L.A. and I have written my speech completely, then I will, like, draft an outline from what you told me over dinner the other day, that you want to say.
Rachel: Yeah. So I know what you want to say because you told me, like, generally what you want to say. I’m not going to say more than that. And then I can make a little outline and then we can sit with it together, and then you write it, and then I just help you, like, tie the know together.
Dennis: Okay, if it’s like that, yes. If it’s not like that, then there’s probably not going to be any speeches.
Rachel: I’m going to help you, I promise. I always help you!
Dennis: Yeah, but you’re going to L.A. tomorrow, I’m going to Amsterdam, I’m going to be in a bachelor party. When we come back you’re going to be living in a bachelorette house, and I’m going to be living in a bachelor house.
Rachel: By then it’s not the bachelor party.
Dennis: I’m probably going to see you in like a few weeks, lady. (laugh)
Rachel: It’s the bridesmaids house and the groomsmen house, so we have changed labels by then.
Dennis: Ooohhhhh, it’s more classy.
Rachel: Yes, it’s much more classy. No one is bacheloring anymore.
Rachel: Your bachelor party is over when it’s over, okay? It doesn’t continue.
Rachel: Okay. No, and then we have, like, we have three, four … we have a lot of days before the wedding! Four days, yeah. Oh my god I’m nervous on their behalf!
Rachel: Yeah, it’s happening, it’s happening. I’m so excited!
[039:21] Rachel: Okay, so moving from there, leave aside the wedding, after the wedding maybe we’ll stay here for a little while, we’re going to go to Sweden, you’re going to go bike.
Rachel: Yep. I’m going to work.
Rachel: Yep. You’re going to hang with baby.
Rachel: Last time we were in Sweden she was six months. Now she’s going to be 14—something months.
Dennis: She’s going to be a little bit more active.
Rachel: She’s like twice her age already than when we were there last. That’s crazy.
Rachel: What do you look forward to the most?
Dennis: Going to a café with her and having a coffee in the park.
[040:00] Dennis: And hanging out at the bike café store.
Rachel: But, you know, before when you did that she would just sleep in the stroller, or she would just sit there.
Dennis: I can still make her sleep in a stroller.
Rachel: I mean, she runs now, all over the place. And she shrieks and she’s loud.
Dennis: Should we get her one of those backpacks that has a little tail on it?
Rachel: No, no, oh my god.
Dennis: They’re so cute. And, you know what? If they run really fast, you can grab them by the tail.
Rachel: (laugh) You mean a leash?
Dennis: Oh, that’s what it’s called?
Rachel: Yeah, a baby leash. That’s what it’s called. Yeah, I don’t know. In the city, in traffic, like just the other day, down here, there’s this tiny little road-
Dennis: She wants to jump in front of a car.
Rachel: She wants to jump in front of the car. She wants to just run into the road. Like, I get why people put those things on their toddlers. But we’re not doing it. We’re not doing it. We’re not doing it. Please don’t do it.
Dennis: There’s a monkey one, there’s a giraffe one …
Rachel: Please don’t do it. Just stay present with our child.
Dennis: Elephant one.
Rachel: She won’t be in the street. She should not be close enough to the street that she could run into the road. That’s just, come on, common sense.
Dennis: But we’re in the city. There’s streets everywhere.
Rachel: Yeah, she’s not alone in the street. That’s-
Dennis: Yeah, I don’t know.
Rachel: What do you mean? She can’t walk down the street, like where there’s cars, alone!
Dennis: So I have to carry her all the time.
Rachel: What do you mean?! You can’t have a one year old roving free in the, like, in the street with cars.
Rachel: Wait, I feel like I need you to repeat that. Can you look into my eyes and repeat that you understand this?
Dennis: I will carry her everywhere.
Rachel: (laugh) We have a stroller.
Dennis: I will stroll her.
Rachel: And then you go to the park.
Rachel: Park. And at the park she roams.
Dennis: And then I leave her there, I go to the café, get the coffee and come back.
Rachel: (laugh) You can get the leash and tie her to a tree!
Dennis: I tie her down to a pole.
Rachel: (laugh) Tie her to a tree-
Dennis: Put water out for her.
[042:00] Rachel: That’s good, that’s all she needs. Yeah, a little bit of water. Maybe some olives, she’s really into that lately. Aw. I really miss her right now, my little angel baby. Alright, so, you know, we’re going to be doing a lot of work as well. I mean, we’re both working when we’re in Sweden. Someone was asking, like, “I can’t believe you can afford to take a three month vacation.” Like, I don’t think people understand that, like, we’re always working.
Rachel: I mean, every day, there’s not a day where I’m not on my computer, answering emails, taking meetings, recording podcasts, writing things, social media, whatever. Like, we’re always kind of working. I would love to have a whole week with none of that, but it needs to be a designated-
Dennis: But you can’t.
Rachel: I can’t! No.
Dennis: You’re addicted.
Rachel: I’m addicted to creation, baby. Like, what we’re doing now, kind of I have this feeling like-
Dennis: And checking in and staying in touch.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah, for sure. I’m addicted to our community, that’s for sure, and to what’s on the horizon, my horizons of changing the world in a really major way.
Dennis: Yeah, but I didn’t mean it towards social media in general, I mean to work.
Rachel: Business-wise, yeah yeah, that’s what I meant. Yeah yeah. No, for sure. I mean I can let go of stuff, but I’m like, I want to keep my fingers in the pot all the time. But I kind of feel like, right now, we’re in this place of it’s like we’re pulling back the bow and arrow, kind of, like, we’re stretching it far, far, far back, preparing preparing preparing, and then we have this major launch happening soon, and just the thought of it makes me, like, a little nervous with excitement. I don’t know, we have to stay on track and on course, I guess.
Rachel: And I’m really glad, like, yeah, yeah. And that’s also part of it. I was sharing in a post the other day on Instagram, like, I never black people in my social media ever, I mean, super super super rarely. Like, if there’s an insane person calling people, like, I don’t know, like racist stuff. I don’t know, I very rarely ever block anyone, and I kind of encourage healthy discussion if it’s respectful in the comments section. And it’s okay to disagree, it’s okay to, you know, like, negative comments is fine, and people really don’t like it when I say negative comments. They’re like, “I’m just sharing my view, it’s not the same view as yours.” Maybe I shouldn’t call it negative comments. For me they’re negative if they’re, um, you know, if someone disagrees with what I’m creating, like, of course I’m going to take that as a negative thing because for me it’s a super positive.
[044:00] Dennis: Okay.
Rachel: You don’t agree?
Dennis: No, I fully agree, but I was trying to think … because you were using some words there, you were like, you say it’s negative, and then some people say it’s what they think, not negative, so it’s not fair to call it negative. So can we, like, see one or two and then you can see if it’s negative or if it’s not negative?
Rachel: See one of, like what, the comments?
Dennis: Yeah, like, for instance, I can see one that says, “You a ho.”
Rachel: You a ho, yeah, that’s a good one. I get so many of those.
Dennis: Is that a negative one? Or is that, he actually believes you’re a ho? Or she, sorry.
Rachel: I don’t know. She, I mean, it’s always a she. There’s never-
Dennis: It’s never a he?
Rachel: It’s never a guy, no. It’s always a girl. Um, maybe the “You a ho” comment, maybe, is more likely to be a guy, or if someone says “bitch” or like, you know, “You fat.” Stuff like that, maybe, maybe, I don’t know. But I was thinking more in terms of, like, yeah, people will say, like … like something I just brought up, like, “You are such a hypocrite, pretending to be peaceful, you’re actually so fucking dramatic. So over you.” To me that’s a really negative comment. Why do you feel the need to share something like that? And also, yes, I am dramatic. You don’t have to state the obvious all the time. And then, you know, I might react to something like that, because then I’m like, “Wait, am I portraying myself as this perfect, Zen person?” Because I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to pretend to be something I’m not. I like to think that I’m very unfiltered all the time, right? But to me that’s a negative comment. But to them they’re like, “I’m just stating my opinion.”
Rachel: But there’s ways to respectfully, like, for instance, when we have these new initiatives coming out and new foundations, we have some more commercial things happening, like the Amazon collaboration, or the business for change that we’re doing, the mindful ads, things like that, there is going to be people every time that disagree with that. But then there are people out there that are stating their opinions in a really respectful way, and like, “Here is my point of view. I would liked it if you did this, X, Y, Z.” And I read all of that. I don’t think that all of those things are negative.
[046:00] But just, sometimes I feel like, okay, we have this really good initiative for something super positive and then there’s this wave of like, “We don’t believe that that’s going to work.” Or, you know, “Your intentions are bad.” Like, things that they have no clue about, at all. Or maybe they can’t be patient enough to see the actual release of what it is we’re creating. I don’t know. And then I take all of it as negative, and then I’m like, “Fuck. I’m over this.” You know? Because it’s really hard to stay just objective and neutral with that.
But I guess what I’m trying to say is to stay on course you have to just do what you do.
Rachel: Right? If you sit with every thing that every person that doesn’t agree with what you’re doing, or you should do it slightly different, XYZ, you know, whatever, we wouldn’t get anywhere, at all.
Rachel: And I think that’s my practice now that we’re pulling back this bow and arrow to release something awesome is just stay on course and focus on the support, on the really positive, and also on the constructive criticism so that we can grow and evolve and do better and be better, all of us, together.
Rachel: How do you feel about the launch?
Dennis: I’m excited. And nervous. I’m excited.
Rachel: Yeah. What are you nervous about?
Dennis: Uh, sometimes your dreams are too big … to finish on time.
Rachel: What?! When has that ever happened?
Dennis: All the time. (laugh)
Rachel: (laugh) Oh, you mean the timeline, that maybe it’s not going to work out.
Dennis: Yeah, the timeline-wise, and you’re very, uh, you always want everything to be perfect, and it’s difficult to get a team to see the same things as you see, and then to put it to life. Because not everyone can be creative. You’re the creative one, which is awesome. But to make your creativity come to life, that’s a whole nother thing as well. So I guess that’s the only thing I’m, like, kind of worried about.
[048:00] Rachel: For the product to match the vision, you mean?
Rachel: Like the end game of everything to match the dream.
Dennis: Correct. For your, yeah, basically. So, but for the rest I am super excited about the launch.
Rachel: I’m nervous about that too. (laugh) But sometimes you have to just let go a little bit, you know? It can’t always be perfect, but it also can’t almost be perfect.
Rachel: And if it’s not, I’ll just have something else to complain about on the podcast. (laugh)
Dennis: It’s true.
Rachel: There we go.
Dennis: But it’s big things.
Rachel: I know, it’s a little scary.
Rachel: But good. Should we go check in on our baby?
Dennis: Maybe we should, huh?
Rachel: Maybe we should. We left the-
Dennis: Let’s see if she’s still tied to that pole at the park.
Rachel: (laugh) Yeah, let’s see if she’s still out there. Alright. Thank you everyone for listening. And I want to say, like, a little note for thank you everyone for being so patient, because I feel like we’ve had a lot of podcasts in a row where we’re kind of hinting at something that’s coming without actually being able to share exactly what it is. We’re getting closer every week. So, thank you for your patience, for your comments, your constructive feedback, and your positivity and your love. And thank you, Babes, for coming on the show again. Can we make, like, a little pact?
Dennis: I feel like every time I’m on here you try to make a pact.
Rachel: (laugh) It’s like a public moment! It’s like you’re on the spot. You have to kind of say yes. No, for the rest of our travels-
Rachel: I’m going to try to like mellow out, maybe like to chill a little more. And then you try to chill a little more about the dog.
Dennis: Oh hell no!
Rachel: What?! I thought this was so perfect! What do you mean? This is like a perfect deal.
[050:00] Dennis: Okay, let’s remake that pact. Yes, if you do all the checking in of the dog, all the security of the dog, and the checking out, then yes, I can carry little dog everywhere, but actually going through security and checking the dog in-
Rachel: But do you remember when we were in Malaga airport going to Barcelona and I had the dog in one arm and the baby in the other arm-
Dennis: Yeah. And I had like the ten suitcases in the back.
Rachel: (laugh) And then you’re at the back with the suitcases. But then I had to go through security alone, and then I had to go with the dog, and then I had to go with the baby separately. It was extremely challenging.
Dennis: Well you’re doing so good.
Rachel: Oh my god. Yes, yes, yes, I’m such an empowered woman doing-
Dennis: But in Malaga, going back to that, sorry if we were going off track here, in that airport they had, like, a little gate to put a baby in.
Rachel: (laugh) A little playpen!
Dennis: Yeah. So we had a baby and a puppy in there.
Rachel: In the playpen, together, sitting there, looking all weirded out.
Dennis: Just waiting. (laugh)
Rachel: (laugh) Yes! No, but isn’t that a good deal? We’ll both mellow out on our respective areas of stress and just, like, ease into the rest of these travels.
Dennis: I try.
Rachel: You’ll try. Okay, let’s shake on it. … That’s the lamest handshake I’ve ever … He’s like, limp handshaking me. That’s a fake handshake! You’re faking it!
Dennis: I mean, this is how the French do it. (laugh)
Rachel: (laugh) No, that’s not how the French do it.
Rachel: (laugh) Alright you guys, thanks for listening in. I’ll see you all next week.
[End of Episode]
Quip – getquip.com/yogagirl
Four Sigmatic – foursigmatic.com/yogagirl
Sun Basket – sunbasket.com/yoga