Episode 41 – Turning Dreams Into Reality
Listen to this episode here!
In this episode, Rachel records live on Instagram with thousands of people tuning in! Over 100,000 people tuned in to listen and ask questions. Rachel starts off by sharing how she went out dancing with her little sister the night before and for the first time since pre-pregnancy woke up feeling the effects of a night on the town. Her conclusion? No amount of fun is worth it when you’re spending the next day with your baby! After sharing candidly about beating herself up and feeling like an irresponsible mom, she dives into answering questions from the audience on manifesting dreams, dealing with anxiety and fear, getting energized to continue pursuing your goals on days where all you want to do is lie on the couch, nailing down an awesome business idea, letting go of resentment, staying motivated to make a change in the world while feeling weighed down by pain and much, much more.
[0:03] Alright! Hi, and welcome to another episode of From The Heart: Conversations with Yoga Girl. Happy New Yeah everyone! I hope 2018 has brought you a good start already with lots of love, lots of laughter, lots of time spent with your family, I hope. Today is a super special podcast day because for the first time ever I’m recording this podcast while live on Instagram. I don’t know if people have done this a lot before, but it means that right now, as I’m recording this, there is a couple thousand people … Yeah, thousands of people already, and people keep coming in … Listening in and tuning in from all over the world, just to watch me record, and to answer questions.
[0:43] So, this podcast, I’m going to take questions live, and I have no huge theme for this week other than to be really honest, and in the spirit of From The Heart, just answer all the questions. So, without further ado (laughs), let’s get started!
[1:00] I’m going to start with a really simple question that someone asked me that I really love. Someone asks, “How are you today?” In the spirit of this podcast, in the spirit of this being From The Heart, let me be super honest: I’m kind of feeling crappy right now. Like, I don’t even know where to start. I went out yesterday (laughs). I went out, like, partied, kind of? I don’t know. I went for dinner with my sister. We had some sangria and some pasta and it was really chill, and then we decided to go have a drink somewhere. I mean, she’s 20 years old. And then somehow I end up at, like, a club place! Or like, a place where fork, like, people are really drunk dancing to reggaeton, going totally insane. And I have not been drunk or been out since, yeah, pre-pregnancy. So, what is that? It’s almost two years ago.
[1:54] I didn’t drink that much, but I got really drunk. I’m embarrassed to admit that I got Really Drunk. (laugh) And today I feel worse than any hangover of my entire life! I cannot remember ever, ever feeling this shitty. Ever, ever, ever! I don’t know. Is it part of getting older? Or does it just mean that having a baby just kind of messes with your body and your ability to recover? I don’t know! But I feel like I partied, you know, for days straight. That’s just how I’m feeling right now. It’s not a fun thing, let me tell you!
[2:32] Okay! (laugh) Still here! So, what I was saying is that I partied and now I feel like absolute shit! And if there are any parents out there that had a baby and then hit pause on normal things, like going out and having fun, or whatever. The first hangover of motherhood is the worst one I’ve ever had! I don’t know if the people that are tuning in on Instagram right now can tell … I just am not. feeling. amazing. I don’t know, I feel like my throat is all thick, like I have cotton in my head. (sighs) No Bueno!
[3:06] The worst part of all, okay, so in the spirit of From The Heart … The worst part of all is one of the struggles that I’ve had the past couple weeks, like genuine struggles, is that my baby, Lea Luna, she doesn’t want to nurse anymore. At all! And I’ve taken every piece of advice from every book, from every online forum, I’ve asked people through social media, friends, family. I’ve tried everything. She doesn’t want it! I’ve tried lying down in a dark room, decreasing her solids and only feeding her after a long nap. All this stuff, she doesn’t want it! She just wants to walk away. She’s super active, that’s what it is.
[3:39] So during New Year’s I decided to just accept that what happens, it’s what she wants, right? I’m going to go with the flow of what my baby wants, I don’t have to attach this big expectation that she has to nurse for two years, which is what I originally wants, or for a much, much longer time than nine months. Then today, you know, I wake up and I feel like crap, because I had alcohol last night, and it’s just, I’m regretting ever even going out to dinner. Everything just feels horrible. Then Dennis had a meeting, so he had to go work, so I slept like 3 hours and then I’m up with the baby, feeling awful, and what’s the first thing she does? She reaches for the boob! She asks to nurse! What? Why? Then of course I drank last night, so I cannot nurse her! What the fork is up with that. Why does it happen that way? So, I had this morning where I just felt totally useless as a mom. I have never … you know, I’ve never been hung over with my baby before! That’s not a cool thing. There’s nothing fun or cute or exciting about that. It’s just really, really sad. So, I had a morning of just feeling totally, like, kind of worthless and shitty. In the spirit of From The Heart, that’s where I am.
[4:53] So, actually, I told Dennis today, I am never drinking again! (laugh) And I’ve never said that in my entire life! I never make a resolution or say stuff like that, because I know it’s just not true. I like to drink wine! But I’m a mom now, so I think I have to just embrace the fact that a glass of wine sometimes with dinner, like, that’s my jam. That’s where I am! (laugh) I can see my mom commenting on Instagram right now, “Don’t drink! No drink. Don’t drink.” My mom is sober, so yeah, this is interesting. Thanks, mom! I’ll try to keep the alcohol to a minimum (laugh). So, so naughty, oh my god.
[5:30] Yes, I am a mom now, so life is different, life is changing. But, aside from that, because New Year’s just passed, if you looked at my blog or read my blog yesterday, I shared a big blog about how my New Year’s Resolutions, or my New Year’s Intentions, how they’re manifesting, and the action items that I’m attaching to what I’m planning for the new year. And it’s a really big list with big things that I want to do and that I want to create. Of course, as with every new year, you start of really great, really solid.
[6:00] So, I had a couple of things that were, like, physical things that I’m doing for the new year. One was floss (laugh) … which, I was laughing so hard that I even put that on the list, because it’s one of those cliché thing, you know? Everybody says on January 1st, “I’m going to floss all year!” But I never took care of my teeth. Well, I mean, I brush my teeth twice a day, like everybody else, but I was never a teeth person. Like, some people are really obsessed with having perfect teeth and clean teeth and all of that stuff. I never really flossed! Like, that’s the most boring thing I could ever think of. That was my resolution, because I don’t know if it’s part of being a mom, or growing up, or getting old, or whatever, but I just have this … I put it on the list. I really want to floss everyday. So, yesterday, I did that. Yay for me! I’ve lost score … One day. Or two days!
[6:43] And then, on my list I had, because Dennis has been asking me for months, he really wants to go for a one once or twice a week with the family! So now we have a little running stroller so we can all go run together. It’s like a really fun thing, he thinks! I mean, running for me is like torture. If you are a person listening right now, and you’re a runner … I feel like your brain is just wired differently than mine. Running is the worst! The worst, the worst, the worst. People talk about this runner’s high, like after X amount of minutes or whatever, you’re supposed to get this endorphin-induced high. I have never gotten there (laugh). Ever! I just feel miserable the whole time. I run until I just feel like I’m going to die, and then, you know, that’s what it is.
[7:29] But now, you know, my husband is training always for Ironman, and he’s doing more next year, or this year, I mean. (sigh) So, he really wants us to do that as a family, so it’s not just me doing yoga on my own every morning, which is a thing I do alone, and then Dennis goes out and runs on his own, but that we can actually do it together. So, I committed to that. Running twice a week. (sigh) God, I hate it already! (laugh) Now I see my mom commenting: “You actually need to be high to run!” (laugh) Is that what I’m doing wrong? I should get high and then go running? Ah! That’s what it is. That’s the runner’s high everybody talks about. Okay, okay, okay. I’m going to see if I can get on that. (laugh) Oh god!
[8:13] But yesterday I flossed, I ran. On my list also was “blog.” I blogged! I did all of this stuff that was on my list. I felt so good and so amazing, I cleaned out the house, I started organizing some stuff. I felt really on top of my shit you know? Then I went out to dinner, and then I drank, and then I woke up this morning and life just feels totally pointless! What is that? What is that!? Is it normal to feel that way? Has it always been like that? You get drunk and then the next day you feel totally down and low and depressed? Because I can’t remember life before baby. I can’t remember what it was like. I cannot remember this! Maybe that was just the thing, and you’re just used to feeling semi-shitty. Because I would have, like, once a week I’d go out and I’d dance or have fun and get drunk or whatever. I used to be a party girl, and I don’t remember this feeling of feeling like total shit. I don’t know. And it’s not just physical, but emotional, and I start feeling like, “Ugh! My New Year’s stuff is out the window!” I don’t know, I think I’m re-evaluating my relationship with alcohol, overall. Mostly because of baby. I don’t think, ever, I mean ever, and I’m thinking when is the moment in our life this year when I know we’re going to have a fun night out? Like, Patrick and Olivia are getting married in May, that’s a huge thing, so I know already during that wedding of course we’re going to dance and party and all of the stuff, but I need someone to come and take the baby. I don’t want to do this with a baby, at all! I would rather just not do it at all. So, if anybody wants to come to France and hang out with Luny so that Dennis and I can go have fun at the wedding, just hit me up, okay? Anybody. That would be so much fun!
[9:56] Moving on. So yeah, in the spirit of From The Heart, should I add alcohol to this list of things that I’m doing for the year? It’s not a big deal, I know, it’s not a huge deal. I just shouldn’t read too much into it. But I just really had this moment of like, fuck. This is just a sign of something that I should be more mindful of. And yesterday, this is also interesting, so when we were out, my sister is 20 years old, she’s totally crazy. I mean, she’s like me when I was 20. That’s what it is. She’s a 20-year-old, which you know how 20 year olds are. We met some people that were out and some people were traveling and some people were from Venezuela and someone was from the states. She’s talking to some guy, and then I find myself deeply entrenched in this conversation about the situation in Venezuela right now, and the fact that there’s starving people and starving babies, and it’s so close. You can literally … I mean, you can’t really, not everyone, but you could almost swim from Aruba to Venezuela, that’s how close it is. Here you see so much excess and so much tourism and so much food is thrown away here. I don’t even know, tons of food people throw away at the restaurants here. And then just across the ocean, just so close, it’s 18 miles away, people are starving to death! Like, how is that a possibility? How is that even real? I was really in this really deep conversation yesterday about how can I … with people living in Caracas, living in Venezuela, how can I support? What can I do? That was the highlight of my night yesterday was having that conversation, learning more about that situation, and feeling a little more empowered as to how I can help. So (sigh) I think I’m not mean to be out and about dancing, being mindless and crazy. I don’t think it’s possible anymore.
[11:43] So, moving on! Everybody tuning in to Instagram right now, so, ask your question again and again so that I don’t miss it. But I’m going to move to something that people have been asking a lot. Someone is asking, “You seem so energetic.” (laugh) “Do you ever have days where you want to stay home and do nothing? And if you do, what helps you get going?” Well, right now I’m having that forking day. I’m having that day right now, right here. This morning I just did not want to do anything. I couldn’t believe I was recording this podcast today. I was like, “Why did I commit to that? What’s up with my life choices? Everything is horrible and terrible …” Of course, I have those days as anybody else. A day like today, though, is really rare, so I’m glad I don’t have more of those. But of course.
[12:35] The thing is now, having a nine-month old, she’s so so joyful. And she’s so energetic, and she’s so excited about all of life, it’s really hard to be around her and not be really excited about life. That’s just a fact right now. She’s always smiling. She’s dancing now, she’s doing this really funny thing where she bobs her head whenever she hears music, and she’s almost walking. Like, so close walking. It’s totally crazy. And she’s so energetic! She’s all over the place. Whenever I’m with her I don’t think about anything else! I go with the flow of that. Waking up with her just puts a big smile on my face every single day. So, I don’t have that not energetic feeling very much, that feeling like I just want to stay on the couch and do nothing.
[13:21] If, however, I do, I try to allow myself to have that. I try to allow myself to really merge into that emotion, to merge into that feeling, if it’s possible. Whenever we have those days of just feeling totally blah or tired or not motivated, I think there’s a reason that those days come, especially if we’re used to working really hard, or we’re living at another pace of life. So, instead of fighting it and thinking, like, “How can I activate more, how can I get more things done?” Maybe you need a break? You know? Maybe you need to take a break and you need to take a moment just to drop into silence, or give yourself that one day of lying on the couch, or that one day to just do something for yourself, right? It doesn’t have to be a big negative where you watch Netflix and binge eat bad food and stuff like that. Like, how can you rest, or give yourself something to rejuvenate a little bit, or to restore, I guess. Restore is the word I’m looking for.
[14:19] Usually, at least for me, if I give myself that space and that time to just drop and to let things go a little bit and to soften and to relax, I’ll find that that sense of wanting to act again comes back. So I guess that would be my advice. Then, of course, if you have those days consecutively, you’re over and over again, you’re feeling unmotivated, unenergized, I think it’s a really good idea to get motivated by getting really clear on what it is that you’re looking to do, right? Sometimes we want to motivate ourselves, we want to accomplish these dreams or goals, or change our lives somehow, or get energized about life, but we’re not really clear as to what it is that we want, or what exactly it is that we’re trying to manifest with that energy that we’re longing for. So write some stuff down. Find a friend, share, talk about it. I love the practice of non-reactive sharing. It’s just sitting face to face with someone and speaking. You can set a timer for 10 or 15 minutes. Pick a topic, like, “Life Purpose.” Like, “I don’t know if there’s a purpose in my life,” right? “I don’t know where I’m going next.” And just start talking. It’s a really cool practice. Just. Start. Talking. With no one there kind of poking at you or asking questions, just having someone hold space, you might find that you actually know the answer to that question yourself, right? You might find that you already know exactly what you want to do, but it just hasn’t been really defined.
[15:48] Also, another practice that I really like is stream of consciousness journaling. I don’t know if anybody listening, if you’ve ever tried that. Basically it is … you begin with one sentence or one topic, and then sit, take a moment to breathe, and the moment you put pen to paper, you keep writing, no matter what. You keep writing, no matter what. And that might mean, if you don’t know what you’re going to write, you might write, “I don’t know what I’m going to write, I don’t know what I’m going to write, I don’t know what I’m going to write,” and you write that again and again. Or you write, “This is is stupid,” or, “This is bull shit,” or, “I am tired,” or, “I don’t know …” You know, you just write gibberish until you arrive at something. It really works.
[16:23] A couple of sentences that I like to start with, a practice that I do a lot is if there was no fear present in my life, if I was fearless, right? If I was completely fearless, what would I do? And then you continue your follow up of that question. Or just answering the question of, “Right now, I feel …” and then continue writing and see where that goes. So yes, stream of consciousness journaling and sharing is a really good practice, and just talking to someone. It’s good to have that one person in your life you can bounce ideas of, it’s good to have a person in your life that can pull you out of a funk, right? Do you have that person in your life? A person that can, when you’re feeling low, when you’re feeling down, that one person you can call who can pick you up and help you get motivated and help you get excited about stuff again. Right now that person in my life is my baby. She does it just organically, so beautifully for me, every single day. I’m super grateful for that.
[17:18] I’m seeing a lot of questions come in, and I’m seeing a lot of smiley faces. And .. Hi Matt, I see you! Look at you. Give Ariel a hug from me, you guys are so beautiful. And Mom, okay, I see you Mom. Mom, you don’t have to be the number one commenter in the comment feed. You don’t want to be the one person who posts the most comments on Instagram. Trust me, that’s not who you want to be! (laugh) Oh you guys are so beautiful!
[19:07] Okay, so, let’s take another question. Someone is asking, “How do you know when you have nailed an awesome business idea? How do you get started when you don’t have any funding? So, how do you know when you’ve arrived at something that’s really, truly great?” That’s a super hard question to ask, but I can see that whoever is asking that, maybe you feel like you have an awesome idea that you want to manifest? For me, it’s always when something … like, when it clicks, you know. Right? If you’re finding a gap in that market, or there’s something you need … I have this feeling, these ideas all the time since having the baby too. Especially with gadgets and things that relate to baby stuff, where I find, like, this is so stupid! Why doesn’t this exist in a smarter way? One thing, if someone is listening right now, especially a manufacturer of this product, you can take my idea and roll with it, because this is something that I’m just never going to follow up with. But, for instance, a car seat for a baby. I’m yet to find a car seat for a baby that’s just smart. Of course they’re going to be safe and all of that, that’s the number one thing, but the one that we have for Luna, which was super recommended by a bunch of people, there’s no way to open the straps and then just attach them to the side of the seat. You could put a little piece of Velcro there, you could have a super easy system just to connect them so that you could put the baby in without the straps being all stuck and tangled. I looked at a bunch of baby seats or car seats online. They’re all like that! None of them have that super easy feature to just help you when you’re on your own with the baby, to put the baby in the fucking car seat! Stuff like that. Then I’m like, “Damn, I should just produce a little thing, a little gadget that helps you with this very simple thing.” Or the fact that that same car seat makes a really loud noise when you click it in. I’m like, whoever produced this (and it’s like a giant company), did they not think about the fact that a sleeping baby is going to be in this car seat, and maybe this thing should be a little bit quieter, and not wake the baby up every time you put them in the car? Like, c’mon!
[21:09] Stuff like that. I like to come up with solutions for problems, and if you ever have a reeeaaaally great one, like, it’s actually a genuine business idea, you’re going to feel it, because your whole body is going to go, “Oh my god, I can do this! This is a great thing!” I had one of those moments when I founded oneOeight, or oneOeight.com. It wasn’t at all like, “Oh, I want to make a bunch of money!” Or, “I want to do something super successful, so how can I take advantage of some space in this community?” It was a need that I saw, because people were writing me asking for help. They were asking for support, specifically in areas that I am not at all an expert in. So, I had people ask me about, you know, help with depression and eating disorders. I was getting suicide letters written from people. Just this overwhelming amount of people that were suffering. Then I spent so much time Googling my way, to try to find help for the people that were emailing me. So, finding therapists and psychologists, or people that I knew that could connect these people that were in need with some mental health professional, for instance. It just felt like I took so much time, and I couldn’t understand why people were reaching out to me instead, go see an expert! I’m a yoga teacher! I post stuff to social media. I am not a suicide hotline, and still I was getting a lot of that sent my way, which is just so heartbreaking. What I realized is that there needs to be something much more profound than social media. There needs to be something that’s much more profound than just Instagram. Instagram is great for inspiration, for motivation. It’s not for instruction, like, at all, I really don’t think. And it’s not going to deeply change your life. If you need help, I was so shocked by that, people are in this big need of help, but they’re scrolling through Instagram, looking for something. But maybe they weren’t ready to go see that actual therapist in real life, or the actual mental health professional to help them. So, I felt like we needed to bridge that gap, in a way. Then of course we included yoga and meditation and healthy foods, and all the things that help us grow into just a whole, balanced person. It became oneOeight.com, and we have a grief counselor on there and a relationship specialist, and we have an amazing, beautiful psychologists who work with eating disorders and all of this stuff.
[23:24] It’s growing now. We’re in the midst of a lot of changes. So, if you’re already practicing with oneOeight, there’s a lot of stuff happening this year. I’m super excited to share that really, really soon. But it was born out of a need that was there. So when I thought, “Wow, maybe I could create this online platform where all of this just works, and it just felt like such a smart idea, and no one was really doing it, and it was born out of love. So, if you’re sitting on something that you feel like, “I want to create it,” go for it! Like, really, really, really go for it. Go for it, go for it, go for it! Look around, look at your life, where do you have connections? Who can you talk to? Who can you ask for advice? I promise you, once you put yourself out there, things are going to happen. It’s just, we need to take those first actual action steps of making a dream happen, not just sitting on it.
[24:10] I see a few questions coming in because I’m mentioning a lot things that are happening next … over this year. Fuck. How long am I going to say next year about 2018? This year, since it’s already January. I’m not ready share it just yet, but we’re SUPER super super close. We have some really fun things that I’m launching this year. Some really cool initiatives, and really awesome ways to be of service and help the world. So, so so so soon.
[24:39] Someone is asking, “How do you deal with separation from your family? I have family living all over the world in different countries, and separation just never gets easier.” I know! We spoke about that just recently, me and my mom. Actually, it really sucks to separate. You know, there’s that saying, “Partir, c’est mourir un peu,” (laugh) I’m butchering this French! But it means, “Separating is to die a little bit.” It sucks to separate. But I also believe that we have the most amazing time when we see each other, because we don’t spend every single day all year round together. So that actually helps. It means that when we’re spending time together, we squeeze all of the joy, all of the love out of that. We really have a super intense, 24-hours a day, like, really, totally together. And I think it works, for now. For now it’s totally working. I don’t know what’s going to happen when Luna is in school and stuff like that. I really don’t know. It’s really helpful to have family around, and I love my family, I miss them a lot. But right now it works. And I think they enjoy traveling from Sweden to Aruba too. So, for now it’s okay.
[25:50] People are asking so many things about the baby. Let’s see here … People! Wow, this is so much! I don’t know what to choose and what to pick from! I don’t know what to pick from! A lot of people are asking, okay … “How do you deal with the pressure of showing up every day?” Man … (laugh) I don’t know. I don’t know. How to deal with the pressure of showing up … I don’t know!
[26:19] I had another question that I wrote down from Instagram yesterday. Let me pull that up right now. Yeah. To show up every day, this is a really challenging thing. Someone writes, or someone wrote in asking, “How do you find the strength to continuously fight for causes you believe in? How do you fight the good fight when you see so much pain in the world, without becoming depleted?” I super resonated with this question, because it’s a really valid one, it’s a really real thing. I’m still trying to answer that. There’s a part of me that, just, I can get completely sucked into pain and suffering of humanity, pain and suffering of other people, and I just … it drowns me. It just completely drowns me. Especially if it’s something that’s close to home for me. Always animals and children, it’s always my two causes that I always fight for, that I always connect with.
[27:10] We had a situation here in Aruba, where I live, a couple of weeks ago, where two little boys were killed at the hands of their own parents. In a super horrible, horrible, horrible abuse case. It’s something that they have never really seen on this island, at least not in the papers. Like, maybe this stuff happens all the time? Oh god, I really hope not. But it was a real shock to the whole country. I could not get the image of these boys out of my head. I could not. I couldn’t. I would wake up every single morning, and they were the first thing I saw. I would go to bed at night, and they were the last thing that I thought of. I just could not get the image of these boys out of my head. I had this feeling like somehow I could have prevented it, which I know, of course, is not true. I did not know that family. Just because all of us live in Aruba doesn’t mean that … you know, I’m not the master of the universe. I can’t fix and heal everything. But, I mean, they live 20 minutes away from us. So, this island is really, really small. Somehow I had this feeling of, wow, I have so many initiatives and things I want to do, but we do a lot of work globally. We have, with 109, our global missions foundation, we have initiatives all over the world. We do Ecuador and Greece and Nicaragua and Latvia and Sweden and Congo. It’s, you know, all over. Thailand we added just now. And then this stuff is happening in my own back yard? That was a really hard pill for me to swallow. I’ve been focusing a lot of attention elsewhere, but then there was this horrible stuff happening right here, in my own community where I live. I had, I don’t know, I had easily a whole week where I was everyday in tears, everyday crying. I put the picture of these boys, I put it on Instagram, you can scroll through a couple weeks back, it’s there. I still have those pictures on my phone, I had them for that whole week I had them as my screensaver, I just … I didn’t want to forget about them. I really wanted to find a way to honor their memory.
[29:13] Once I got out of that really intense heaviness, which is just soooo so difficult to deal with, but I think it’s important that you let yourself feel that, right? There’s a reason we want to do good things for the world, because we feel and we connect. We feel the suffering of other people and we want to help relieve it, we want to help ease that pain. Allow yourself to feel that, and then take action, right? Then act. When I got out of that really heavy, heavy, heavy, horrible feeling, the first thing that I did was I started looking around, and I said, “Okay, what’s already happening on this island? We have two orphanages here. One is for small, like young kids, zero to six years old, and one is for six to 18. And it turns out they are always full, all the time. These orphanages are always full. And these two kids that died … (sigh) I’m so sorry that this podcast and this livefeed has taken a really heavy turn right now, but … they had actually been taken from their parents, at least this is what the paper said, I don’t know if it’s all true, but they said that they had been taken from their parent, put in this orphanage, because they were in an unsafe, in an unfit home environment, clearly. But then it was full and too crowded, so they put the boys back home! (sigh) Which, to me is just … Okay, so there’s an issue on the island here with facilities. Is it that fucking simple? We need to open a third orphanage to house more kids that need to be removed from unfit parents? That sounds like a pretty simple fucking thing to do! Like, okay, how much money do we need to raise to open an orphanage? What are the laws? Do we need to work with the government? What kind of people do we need to have? Of course it’s a huge initiative, but after that, I can see clearly in my mind all of these steps, all of these action steps that I can actually take. I have a friend who’s a child psychologist, works for the government, used to work for the government, I have a lot of connections in this area. Immediately I could write 15 things down that I can do now to start making this happen. And that’s how we make change, that’s how we get going. So, I hope at some point of this year to have something really … We’re going to do more research and we might find out that, okay, that’s not exactly what’s needed. Maybe it’s something else. We need education or you need support for the social workers. It could be a totally different thing that this will embody, but something, I’m going to do something.
[31:29] I guess my answer to that is a long answer, is use that pain that you feel when you connect to the suffering of other people. First feel it, and then use it and let it fuel you to do something fucking epic. We need everybody out there to find a cause and fight for it. If you’re out there right now, you don’t have a cause that you truly believe in, like, you’re not actively of service, I would love for this to be your invitation to go out in your community and look. How can I be of service? How can I help? Everywhere there is something. Everywhere! You have to find that one thing that you deeply connect with, so that you can make a change that’s lasting and where you feel motivated all the way through. It’s going to change your life. Being of service is going to change your life. It’s the single one thing that you can do to improve your well-being overall. If you look at it from a super selfish standpoint, just like, “Okay, how is it going to change my life if I start helping other people? It’s going to elevate every level of your being. You’re going to operate on a totally different level. You’re going to find that giving to others is the greatest joy. So, do it for the world, do it for yourself, do it for all of us. Save us, save up, be of service.
[32:39] [Commercial Break]
[34:04] Okay, couple of questions have come in right now, so yeah, speaking of kids, there’s a lot of questions coming in about the baby. I’ve seen so many, and people were emailing these in too, questions about Lea Luna and her eating, or questions about Lea Luna and her being vegan, which is really interesting. I’m vegan, I’ve been vegan for three months. My husband, as you all know, is not. If you heard our last podcast together, he has suddenly, on the spot, he created his own label for his eating habits. He calls himself a pescateur (laugh), which I’m still very unclear as to what that exactly means, but it basically, he says, it means someone who’s really into fish and obsessed with eating fish. Sometimes he eats a little bit of meat, and then maybe once a while, a vegetable. Knowing him, you know, he eats a lot of meat, and we have this conversation all the time. Trust me, all the time. And with the baby, before I was vegan again, because I used to be vegan for years, and then I had a couple of years where I lost my way and I was eating cheese and ice cream and all of this shit. And as soon as she was born, as soon as she started eating solids I knew, like, “I’m not going to give her animal products! Of course not! That would be crazy!” Because I still have this very … I still have the core values of a vegan person. I was just lost, I guess.
[35:27] So, I was already then kind of thinking, like, “Okay, I know if she’s going to be vegan, because I’m not going to give her, you know, breast milk from another mammal. That, to me, just doesn’t sound good. But still, I was eating it myself, which is super weird. But I just decided, I said, “Hey Dennis, I really want her to eat plant-based food,” and he was like, “Of course! Yes, no but that’s great!” And I’m like, “Well why don’t … you eat a lot meat!” “Yeah, but I mean, that’s me, and I’m older, and who cares. She has to be super healthy, of course.” So he was right away on the vegan train for her, which, I think says a lot about us, that neither of us were. Then when I transitioned three months ago, it became so clear and so easy. So now she eats food from my plate. We had a party at Island Yoga two days ago. We had our one year anniversary with a huge buffet of amazing vegan food. She just is eating everything. Hummus and pita and olives and grilled vegetables. She loves all food. We are yet to encounter anything, aside from carrots … She does not like carrots. Everything else she likes and eats! Everything. She had spicy food accidentally and did not flinch! (laugh) So, she’s just a child who likes to eat.
[36:35] But yeah, we didn’t have any argument, no discussions, no big issues in terms of Luna growing up as a vegan. What we have decided, though, is that when she’s old enough to make her own decisions, if she decides that she doesn’t want to be, she wants to eat something different, then that well be up to her. She will get to make those decisions for herself when she’s old enough to do that. That’s at least how we’re planning to raise the baby!
[36:59] Another question coming in … Someone was asking a really beautiful question about sun baby, and I was, like, so confused. They were like, “Did the astrology reading you had say anything about when sun baby is coming?” I was so, like, “What?! What do you mean? Who is sun baby?” Then I realized, if we ever have a boy, like Luna is little moon baby, she’s our little moon … then the boy will be the little sun! I could cry right now just … oh my god, I’m tearing up! Okay, I’m tearing … I’m not having a baby soon! People are commenting now, ‘Are you pregnant, are you having a baby? No! I’m not pregnant. Not having a baby anytime soon, that I know of. Soon that I know of. But, we want to have a boy. That would be really beautiful. And yeah, the sun and the moon, that would be so beautiful. But I’m just kind of … I don’t know, man, having one child feels like having a lot! (laugh) It feels like a lot! So, I don’t know, I’m thinking .. First I was thinking, okay, if we’re going to do two, we should just bang them out, have two at the same time, move on. Do the kids years and the baby years, which are so intense, and then you’re out of that. But now, I don’t know, maybe waiting a couple of years so that we can just be normal people again?
[38:19] Again, my mom is commenting, like, “Yes.” Island Yoga Team and Amber is commenting, “You also have us.” I do! I have my Island Yoga babies, but they’re kind of self-sufficient, my Island Yoga babies. They get up in the morning on their own, they put on their own clothes, they eat their own food. Island Yoga babies, they do very well on their own! (laugh) But we’ll see what the future holds. We’ll see what the future holds.
[38:44] Another question that Came in. Okay, so people were asking a lot of social media stuff. Specifically, okay, I got two questions about comments, and about feeling swallowed up by social media. Someone writes, “Do you read all of the comments? I’ve seen that you said so before. Doesn’t it kill you that complete strangers have opinions on the smallest inessentials of every single post? Do you have help? Is someone monitoring this for you?” So, I do all of my social media on my own, it’s all me. I mean, you guys would know if all of the sudden somebody else started posting. I’m very personal and very vulnerable and very much me all of the time, so there’s no version of this where someone else could ever do this for me.
[39:21] I read all of the comments, all of the time. I read every comment that I ever receive. I don’t super engage a lot. I answer questions here and there, and I don’t answer every single comment, I’ve never been into that, just because it takes up a lot of time! It gets really, really time consuming. I like to post something, and then I read through it, and then if anyone’s going through something hard, I always connect back. I write back, I think, a lot more Instagram messaging. So if you Instagram message me, I connect back. I think there’s at least a couple of hundred replies that I give every single day, so I guess that is a lot, maybe, in a day. But no one monitors the comments or anything. The one thing we have is, we have on the blog, so on RachelBrathen.com, if you post a comment there, it has to be … It’s moderated, so it has to be approved, and it’s just because we get spam and stuff. But yeah, that’s it.
[40:07] Complete strangers having opinions on all of this stuff, like, I’m very used to that. I do feel like that’s the case in regular life, it’s just that people aren’t as quick to tell you. We walk around daily lives, we judge each other all the forking time about all of this stuff. We just don’t say it. On the internet and social media it’s like everything is forking word vomit. Everyone just says exactly what they think, the nastiest thing that pops up into their head immediately. If you are on Instagram Live right now watching this, you can just scroll through comments and see how many people are just randomly saying, “Fuck you,” or, “Show your boobs,” or someone rights (laugh) in capital letters, “SEX.” (laugh) Like, what the fuck man? Who are you? Why are you hear? Go do something else, go take care of yourself, go take a shower and chill out. But, I mean, it’s really intense. I don’t know, I’m not a big commenting person on social media. Even with my friends and stuff, I very rarely do that. So I have a really hard time imagining being, like an angry person who writes people online. I don’t get it!
[41:15] I got some comments yesterday which was just, I was just cracking up. From, I don’t know, I’m thinking it’s a woman who was writing different comments under different names on my website, but they all came from the same IP address, so I know it’s the same person, about different ways of how she hates me. I was just like, this is really interesting. I don’t know what to do with this. Should I talk to her? Should I write her back? Should I see if she’s okay? Should I ask if she needs something? If she hates me this much, she’s spending this much time writing, like, really hateful comments pretending she’s a bunch of different people, under the same email address and the same IP address, I’m kind of thinking that maybe she’s my biggest fan? Maybe she loves me, but I did something to piss her off, and now she has to comment. But I have a really hard time understanding that, the negativity and the hate that comes through social media and that comes through the internet, because I don’t know … And I know most people that listen to this, you’re probably not that person, I’m going to guess.
[42:18] One of my favorite things, though, is when I have someone who writes something really horrible, and then they change their minds. (laugh) That’s somehow happened a lot. I don’t know, I can’t remember exactly what about, but I think baby stuff. I would get an email from someone saying, like, “Hey, I commented the other day that I thought you were being super stupid with this and that decision, and now I realize that was a totally crazy thing to tell a stranger, so I’m sorry.” And I was like, “Whooooaaa! This is awesome! Can we have more of this? You know?” It just becomes this totally crazy thing. So you have to … In Sweden we say, “[Swedish]” which means … Is that an English-saying too? Like, “You have to take everything with a grain of salt?” It is an English thing too. So yeah, you can take everything too seriously, that’s just the thing.
[43:08] And, what I’m working on now is being okay with not pleasing everybody. And it’s really hard. It’s really hard. (fake crying) I want everyone to like me! (laugh) I have issues. No, but it’s really hard for me. Especially if we have … Like, we had, I shared on the last episode of the podcast, we had a woman who was here at the studio who had a super bad experience, and she was really unhappy with the class that I taught. Like, that’s what it is. Instead of focusing on the 13,000 people that were on Island Yoga this year practicing, that had a great experience, and that raves about us, I got really stuck and caught up about this one woman who didn’t like it, who thought there were too many people in the room, and it was too hot, and I hadn’t advertised it as a hot class, and then I wasn’t there to take a photo with her, and she was really upset. I was thinking about this woman forever! Like, she ruined my Christmas! Or, my inability to let go of negative feedback ruined my Christmas. Like, I was thinking about her Christmas eve! Like, how could I have helped that woman have a better experience? Because it just broke my heart that she came to Island Yoga, and she didn’t like us! And, come on, like, I need to work on that. It’s not her problem, it’s my problem. I need to be okay with the fact that not everyone is going to like me, not everyone is like what I put out into the world, no matter how hard I try. A saying that I love is that saying about the peach. You can be the juiciest, most delicious peach in the world, and there’s still going to be people out there who don’t like peaches. It’s a really good quote! Whoever said that, it’s a really good quote. So, instead of trying to … you know, obsessing about what doesn’t work, I’m just going to focus on doing what I do really well, putting great things out into the universe, and if people don’t vibe with it, move on. That’s okay. Not everyone has to follow me on Instagram! If I trigger you, or you hate me, look somewhere else! Don’t waste your energy obsessing about what I’m doing or how I spend my time. There’s a lot of other people you can connect with or follow, that’s alright!
[45:01] Hi Monica! I see you’re writing, “I don’t like peaches.” Peaches are so good though! I’m a fruit snob. I can’t deal with fruit that’s too soft, or too mushy. I don’t know. So, peaches for me need to be firm peaches, I like that. Yeah, I don’t know why I’m a fruit snob, it’s weird. Okay, so yeah, thank you for asking those questions, you guys, that’s super beautiful.
[45:24] Someone else is asking for yoga retreats, and I don’t know if that question comes from someone who wants to lead their own yoga retreats, or if it’s from someone who wants to attend the yoga retreat. But he or she is asking, “What are three things that you always include in a yoga retreat?” And, it’s hard to pick just three.
[45:41] Aside from asana practice, and the physical practice of course that we do in the room, I always include sharing sessions. Always, always, always. So we get to sit face to face, either in a big circle or one on one, or in groups of three and five. We get to intimately, openly share about, usually, challenging subjects. This is a life changing practice. The practice of speaking truth, it’s a really big one. Some of those people come to these retreats that I do, and they are so surprised by these practices that we have, and really uncomfortable. We look each other in the eye for a long time, it’s a very intense thing. It requires a lot of vulnerability and intimacy, which is hard for most people here. I mean here, as in, in this world. It’s a challenging thing to be that intimate with a stranger. But it shows you so much about who you are, and it’s such a beautiful practice, and now at the end of the retreat, it’s always everybody’s favorite thing, it’s always the thing they miss the most. So that’s one thing I always include.
[46:44] I always include some form of journaling also. Usually connected to a big intention setting ceremony of some sort, so that everyone, at the very beginning of the retreat, can truly arrive at answering the question of, “Why am I here?” You know, sometimes we … that’s a good thing to do for anything big that you’re doing in life, or any new cycle that you’re starting, or of course, the new year. If you’re struggling or you’re embarking on something new, like a new project or a new business, get really clear about your intentions, and set really loving intentions, so that you know who you’re doing what you’re doing, so that it’s just not a mindless thing where you’re just kind of soldiering on, and going on and on about your life, but you want to be mindful. You want to live a mindful life, so that you make decisions that actually take you where you want to go.
[47:29] I’ve been having this conversation with my sister, who’s here in Aruba right now. She’s 20 years old. She’s going to be an opera singer, that’s her Big Dream. She’s an amazing singer. She goes to music school, she spends her whole life dedicated to achieving this beautiful, beautiful dream. She’s so talented. I can see her in New York or in Vienna, you know, at the opera, like, really making it. Which is super hard. Really, really challenging field to be in, and it requires so much work, right? Then, you know, she was having a low moment where she says, “I just kind of want to party and not think about anything,” or, “I don’t want to study so hard. I wish I didn’t have to think about all of this stuff all the time. It’s so hard.” And we talked about that, and I said, “Well, it’s really easy to say, ‘Fuck it.’ It’s really easy to just drop it. It’s really easy to take the easy way out and, yeah, go lie on a beach somewhere.” (laugh) Dennis! My husband just comments, “Send .. bobz.” You didn’t even write boobs! (laugh) He writes, “Send bobz.” (laugh) oh my god I’m going to die right now. I lost my train of thought! Oh my god. Okay, Dennis, you’re … oh god.
[48:47] I was saying … Okay, so feeling unmotivated. It is really easy to drop it. It’s really easy to take the easy way out and go do something else, and yeah, become a beach bum or, you know, start working at a bar, and don’t pursue your dream, because it requires a lot of work. It’s really easy to lose that. So you have to get back to the intention of, “Why am I doing this?” What is it? For her, which I really genuinely believe, it’s this heart centered place of the joy singing brings to her. And she wants to sing, for a living. She wants to sing. It’s her biggest dream, she wants to pursue it. If she loses the reason as to why she’s singing, it’s going to be really hard to continue. So, setting intentions is a super important piece. Of everything.
[49:28] Another thing that we do in retreats aaallllwaaayyyyys. I mean, we do a lot of fun things outside. We usually gather around the fire at some point. We always go hiking. We’re always on the beach. There’s things like that that we do a lot, but … Sometimes we do dance parties too, which is really nice. Super awesome. So yeah, thank you for asking that question!
[49:52] [Commercial Break]
[52:00] Let me take some more questions from Instagram that I see right now. So, you guys, if you’re on Instagram right now listening, ask your questions there. (sings) There’s so much stuff coming in. I saw a lot of questions about, I don’t know if anybody cares about this, but people are asking me about my hair. (laugh) I don’t know, I have nothing real to tell you about my hair. A lot of people asked, “How can you get your hair to grow that long.” The answer is I never cut my hair. (laugh) So, I don’t have a magic recipe of some oil I put in my hair to make it grow. It’s just, I don’t … I cut my hair maybe once a year, so that’s just what it is.
[52:47] Someone is asking, “Can you sing?” Haha! No, I cannot sing. But I mean, I can sing, everyone can sing. But I’m not going to sing right now because that’s not how it goes! I love singing. I sing in the shower a lot, I sing at home a lot. Singing is … it’s really run. But I’m not the musical person in the family. The musical people in the family is my sister who sings and my brother who is amazing at playing the guitar. That’s what he does for a living. He just plays the guitar, that’s his whole thing.
[53:15] People are asking about returning guests. Returning guests of the podcast. People would love to have Matt back on the podcast. If you haven’t heard the episode I did with Matt Kuchel, go tune in. He’s super awesome. Jen Pastilov, I definitely want to have back on the podcast. And I see her often I feel. I just saw her a couple weeks ago. So we’re going to make that happen for sure.
[53:35] On the question of what language we’re teaching Lunys, and I’ve answered this so many times, but the question keeps coming in. So I guess I can answer it one more time. I speak Swedish with her, and I feel like Swedish is going to be her first language. I don’t know why. Also because Dennis is now randomly speaking a lot of Swedish with her. He’s learning Swedish as the baby learns Swedish. So, I just catch him, like, when he thinks, like I don’t know, he doesn’t know I’m listening, and he’s reading Swedish books to her or saying little sentences in Swedish. So Swedish, for sure, is number one. Together with English, of course, because we speak English in the family. So Swedish and English, probably that same, 50/50. Then her grandparents on Dennis’ side speak Dutch with her. She’ll earn Dutch if she goes to school here, because that’s the main language on the island, in terms of school, that’s what they study. This island is quadlingual, so she’ll learn Papiamento, of course, which is Dennis’ first language. He speaks not a lot of Papiamento with her. Sometimes. I heard him sing in Papiamento the other day. It’s so beautiful. I wish he spoke more Papiamento with her. So, without trying, if we just live here, she’ll know five languages. Spanish also is on that list, because everyone speaks Spanish here too. So, Spanish, English, Papiamento, Dutch, and Swedish.
[54:49] I’ve read a lot about it. They say multilingual or bilingual or, I mean, this is, what … quadlingual babies? They speak a little later, which might be true, but if you stay really connected, so the same person speaks the same language always, there’s not really a huge limit as to how many languages a child can learn. That’s a pretty cool thing. It’d be really awesome if she had five languages for the rest of her life. So, we’re going to rock that as much as we can!
[55:19] In terms of books, you guys, people are asking a lot of questions about books. It’s hard, because there’s so much out there, I have a huge bookshelf at home. I read a lot. I also transition, like I go from book to book a lot. I’ll come back to certain things again and again. So it depends on what you’re looking for. A book that I always … books, overall, that I always come back to is anything by Osho. Yeah, if you don’t know Osho, any of his books, or transcripts of talks, which most of them are, are really, really beautiful. There’s a great one on intimacy that I love, that I have at home, that I read a lot. We have at the studio the book on courage is also really beautiful. “Power of Now” is a good one too. “Be Here Now,” by Ram Dass. Those are the top, yeah, I don’t know how many I just mentioned, but that are like my go to, especially if I want to just drop in and connect in a place of silence.
[56:17] But then there’s other things, I don’t know. You guys, have you heard about a book called, “Yoga Girl” by this person names something something? Rachel Brathen? I have a book. If you haven’t tuned in and checked out my book, you should totally do that!
[56:33] Seguing into another question about my next book that, everybody knows I’ve been writing for what feels like a-forking-eternity. I don’t know now long I’ve been working on this book. It was so hard to write when pregnant. It was so hard to write with a newborn baby. It’s getting harder to write. It’s not getting easier. So, yeah, my original deadline for this book passed many moons ago. Um … I’m going to finish it now. Like, I’m going to finish it within the next two months. “Finish it,” for me means hand in the final manuscript, and then there’s, of course the whole process of what I do with my editors. So, I don’t know when it will be released. I don’t know. I will get back to you on that. I have to first get my shit together. It was part of my intentions this year is to write two hours a day. Did I do that today? No! Why did I not do that today? Because I’m not feeling good!
[57:28] Hi I see you! How are you! Aw, say hi to your little brother for me. You guys are so beautiful. Okay, I’m going to soon wrap this up. I’m going to take three more questions. So, bring it on. Three more questions. Okay, here’s a good. Do you have any tips for dealing with anxiety?
[57:55] This one came in a lot. A lot of people are asking about anxiety. Do you have any tips for dealing with anxiety? I have a lot of tipes. I don’t know, I am not the super expert, I don’t think. My biggest anxiety that I’ve ever experienced in my life came after I had the baby. The level of worry I feel for the well-being and health of this child, every moment of every day is out of this fucking world! I don’t know. If anybody would have told me how beautiful and horrible it is to be a mom, because of this paralyzing fear that something is going to happen to your child. The more I talk to other people about it, the more I find out that this is normal. Like, everybody, basically, feels this way. Mostly. I mean, I don’t know, is there any mom out there who isn’t worried about the well-being of their baby? I started having these really horrible visions. It started as soon as she was born. Super strange, how my mind would operate in a way that it never used to before, where I would just hold her, walk down the stairs, and then the thought would enter my mind, like, “Oh wait, what if I would trip and fall and hit her soft little head on the edge of that table, and she would die?” And then my mind would spin-off into this total insane moment where I picture every step of the process of her death: Going to the hospital, and she couldn’t be revived, and then there’s a funeral, and then my life is over, and I kill myself. (laugh) In a split second this whooooole journey of something would happen to her and life would be over. And then I move on! (laugh) And I started having so many of these thoughts, specifically right after birth, which I think probably is part of hormones and all of this being really overwhelmed. But the anxiety of something happening to her got so intense when she was around, I guess, yeah, two months, three months. The more, of course, I would immerse myself with that type of thinking, the worse my anxiety would get. That whole process of envisioning all of it being really horrible, it’s such a fast process, but I had to immediately find a way to tap out of that, snap out of that, really, really fast. Just not get lost and get stuck in this horrible, horrible, horrible space. I made it my practice to everytime I would have a thought like that, that would spin me off into total anxiety … Because it’s not real, right? That thought that I have, it’s not real, it’s a worry, and it’s not something that’s happening in this moment at all. So I would just take a reeaaally deep breath, like really remind myself to ground myself, hold her a little tighter and just feel her presence and feel safe. I really tried that.
[60:28] Whenever I would have a panic attack about something, in terms of anxiety, the single most efficient way for me, and this is basically, for me, the only thing that works, is to move my body. The mind starts spinning out of control and all of the reasons why things are not working … To move the body, move the body, move the body. Whether it’s to do a little crazy dance party in the living room, or do a burpee, or just do something really wild, so you can get out of your head and get into the body. I think that’s literally the single best way to snap out of a panic attack or a big anxiety moment, to really … yeah, to really, really, really let the body do the feeling. Let the body ground back, and get present with your heart again. The body will remind you that you’re here right now. Your feet are planted on the ground. You can feel your body in this moment. You’re here, you’re not in this horrible scenario, you’re in your head that is spurring on that anxiety.
[61:23] So, when you’re moving through something that is challenging, that is difficult in that way, go for a run, jump up and down, do something crazy. Hold plank pose, do a down dog. Dance! Dancing is awesome. Swim, do something. Just get back into the body. Shake it out! You know how a dog, whenever a dog has been lying down or sleeping, as soon as they stand up they always shake? They shake off that old stagnant energy and they start fresh, all the time. Shaking is a present moment thing. And we need to do the same. We need to shake some stuff out. I would say that that’s my biggest tip for anyone struggling with anxiety.
[61:58] Alright, I have a queue to … I have to wrap up this podcast soon, because Instagram Live will not allow me to continue. I have two more questions I’m going to do before signing off, so let’s see what we can really drop back into to end this podcast. I really wanted to tap into and talk a little bit about fears. I don’t know, there’s also a lot of questions coming that … And as I say that, someone comments on Instagram about fear, so I’m going to take that as a sign to talk about this right now. How do you prevent fear from controlling your life and preventing you from following your heart?
[62:36] This really connects back to the anxiety that we were just talking about. I had to really, deeply realize that when I become paralyzed with fear, like, for instance, about something happening to the baby, it doesn’t provide me with anything. It doesn’t give me anything. That type of fear, it’s not a fear … Some fear is actually valuable, right? There’s fears, they are present in our life for a reason. Is there danger, actual danger somewhere? Do you have a reason to feel fearful in this moment, and can you use that fear as a way to, like, fight or flight, to survive? That’s why we feel fear.
[63:13] But this type of fear that’s just present in our mind, but isn’t actually anchored into a present moment scenario, it’s just paralyzing. So I realize that whenever I sit with this total fear of something happening to her, I can’t function as a human being! I become a really difficult person to deal with. I don’t become a good mom, I become overbearing and overstressed and freaking out. It’s not the type of mom that I want to be at all. Realizing that, that that type of fear doesn’t add any value to my life, it just takes away from the joy of the moment, that at least helped me to change it and to actively make that choice of, “I need to find ways to connect back into the present moment when this happens.” And if you have a fear, another type of fear, I don’t know if the person who asked this question, if it’s related to maybe pursuing your dreams, or business, or anything like that … Where is the fear coming from? That’s a big thing too. Sometimes we get paralyzed when it comes to pursuing something we really want to do and we don’t take action because we’re afraid we’re going to fail. That’s a big one for a lot of people. We’re afraid of failure, so we don’t do anything. Can you imagine that?
[64:26] Whatever your dream is, someone asked me yesterday, “I always dreamed my whole life to move to not live in the cold and just to live somewhere warm. That’s so amazing. How did you find the courage to do it?” I was like, “Courage to do it? What courage? You don’t need any courage. You just pick up and go.” Like, if you have a dream and it’s big enough that you call it a life dream that you want to live somewhere warm, or you want to move to another country, just go! Think about it, the worst case scenario, the worst thing that happens there is that you move, or you travel, and you go someplace new, and you realized, “Oh, actually, I don’t want to be here.” And then you go back home! (laugh) you know? The worst case scenario there is not that bad. Sometimes we have to try things to figure out what’s for us and what isn’t. So, if the worst case scenario there is that you just move back, and then at least you know, you’re not going to spend the rest of your life thinking, “(sigh) I wanted to move to Costa Rica or to Aruba or to Baha, I wanted to move somewhere, but I never had the courage to try.” Just try! I believe if it’s a true dream and the intention is there, once we start going, the universe is going to provide for us. It totally, totally is. You have to put yourself out there, ask the right questions, but if you’re on the right path and a good path, you’re going to find out that it’s not that hard. You can live anywhere in the world. It’s not. that. hard.
[65:43] You can talk about finances too. Finances can hold you back. I don’t believe in that. People get triggered when I speak about that now, because my financial situation is very different now that I’m 29 than it was when I was 19. Of course. I have a lot of abundance now. I’m really grateful for that. I work hard, and I have a different type of life. But I left Sweden when I was 18 or … just, yeah, 18. The year I was going to turn 19. I didn’t have anything, you guys! I had nothing. I had no job. I had nothing planned out. I didn’t know exactly where I was going, how long I was going to stay. I sold some stuff I had at home. I tried working for a couple of months and saved up as much as I could. Which was, what I realized, enough for three months barebones living in hostels. Like, you know, five dollars a night type crappy crappy places with cockroaches everywhere and all of that stuff. But I just wanted to travel, so I didn’t care.
[66:41] If you want to live abroad, if you want to make a living somewhere else, that’s totally possible to do. I got a job right off the bat. I was waitressing, making really crap money, but it was enough for me to sustain myself. I wasn’t abundant by any means, in terms of financials or in terms of money. No, I was abundant in beach, in relationship, in feeling at peace, in sunrises and surf and beautiful stuff like that. That was enough abundance. And I didn’t have a lot of food to eat! I didn’t have a lot of all the other stuff. There were moments when I didn’t have any plane ticket out anywhere, I had no savings account, I didn’t even have like a bank card, didn’t have a computer, didn’t have any of that stuff, and no place to go, and just trusting that I’m going to be okay goes a really long way. I would have to get super creative. I worked at a dive shop for a while, supported a friend with something here and there, or see if I could housesit for someone so I didn’t have to pay rent if I couldn’t pay rent anymore. Along the way, like, if I look back at it now, if I would have known, okay, you’re going to arrive in these situations where you’re not going to know how you’re going to fix it. You’re going to sit there and you’re going to have no money, or you’re not going to be able to pay your rent … That would have been kind of a paralyzing fear, I’m sure. But looking at it now, it was a really easy fix all the time, because I genuinely believed that I could do anything. Like, it wasn’t huge deal. I’ll find my way through life, you know? I’ll ask people for help. I’ll connect with people, make new friends. Everything sort of always works out if we believe it will. That’s the thing. But if we operate out of this total fear of, like, everything is hard, everything is an obstacle, life is so challenging. It’s really hard to go places, then it’s going to be really hard to go places. So I don’t believe as much in the idea of accumulating insane amounts of money, and then take that pile of money and then go travel, or then go move somewhere. Make sure you have enough to get by, and then just go. Just go. You know? Just go. Trust in the universe, and if you want to get a job, get a job! And work your way through traveling. That’s a total possible thing, and people do that all over the world. Here in Aruba too! We have people who come to Island Yoga and work for a little bit and then they go. It’s a totally normal thing. So don’t let fear paralyze you. Don’t let fear hold you back from trying, right? And if you’re really panicked, you can always have little buffer of something that you know, like, hey if I want to go back, if I want to fly back home, I have that. So worst thing, worst case scenario, is just that you fly back. So don’t worry, just travel! Traveling enriches your life to such a degree. Everyone should travel in their lifetime.
[69:23] I’m going to answer one last question now! What should be our last question? What should be our last question? Should it be a yoga question? I’ll wait for some Instagram comments to come in. I love you guys too. Thank you for listening. Thank you for commenting, for writing. For not commenting that much stuff about boobs! That’s super helpful (laugh). Ummmmmmm, let’s seeeee. Okay, I can end with this question, it’s pretty good.
[69:53] Someone is asking, “Do you have any plans for tours in 2018?” So I can talk a little bit about 2018 and what this year has in store. I shared my intentions and all of that on the blog yesterday, so you can go tune into that on a really personal level. But in terms of this year, we have a bunch of travel, actually. I don’t know if anybody listened to the Flight from Hell podcast? I sometimes meet random people in the street or something that don’t know at all who I am or what I do, they’re not into yoga, but they’ve heard that podcast episode. Which just blows my mind! So that’s the trip that we took from Sweden to Aruba where there was just poop everywhere. It was the worst flight anyone has ever had in the history of flying, ever. It’s a really funny podcast episode, but I think that episode went a little viral in some weird way, because a lot of people who aren’t in this community listen to it and were just laughing their asses off. And after that trip, where there was just poop everywhere, the Trip from Hell, I vowed to never fly with a baby ever again! We’re going to be in Aruba for the rest of our lives, staying put, not going anywhere. This is just it! She will have to be homeschooled, because we’re not traveling anywhere. We’re never moving, we’re never going back to see them, we’re going to be right here. Nothing else will happen. … Of course that’s not a viable thing, but that’s the degree of how horrible that trip was.
[71:20] Somehow, yet, still, we have all of this travel happening next year! I don’t know how that came to be. We have a retreat here in Aruba end of March, and then right after that, so I guess beginning of April, we are going to Europe, and we’re going to be in Europe for over three months, which is really cool. I’m doing what I hope is a really awesome therapy training. So I’m not leading or teaching a training, but I’m going to take one, for holistic therapy that I’m super excited about. It’s in different countries, and it’s a whole eight day thing, every other month, for all of the year, basically. So it involved a lot travels for me. So we start there, and I’m bringing Dennis and the baby. We’re going to go to Italy for the first one, be there for ten days. Then we’re going to Spain, I think? Because Dennis wants to do an Ironman there. Then France because Patrick and Olivia are getting married, so we’re going to go to France. Then Sweden, and we’ll be in Sweden for a while, and then we’re going back home.
[72:20] So, all of this stuff is happening, and I was planning maybe I should teach along the way, teach my way around Europe would be super fun. So we’ll see. If I have the space to make that happen, maybe we’ll have a class in Stockholm, maybe we’ll have a class somewhere in Italy, maybe we’ll have a class in France would be really fun too. So I’ll keep you guys posted. But other than that, I have two teacher trainings here in Aruba, so we’re going to be in Aruba for … I don’t know the rest of the year, but for a while.
[72:48] I do, however, really miss the touring. I really miss teaching the big classes. Oh yeah, Holland is on that list too, for sure. We always travel via Holland anytime we go anywhere, so we always make a stop in Amsterdam too. But I really miss teaching the really big, powerful, beautiful classes with a lot of people. It was always my favorite thing to do. And we never did it with a baby. We’ll see if we have time to squeeze any of that in, I will for sure let everybody know. And I hope to see you! I don’t know, everyone who’s listening, everyone who’s commenting, everyone who’s present, I love this forum, I love this platform of connecting. I think podcasting is my favorite thing, because it gets really intimate, and I can just freely speak my mind. I feel like I can connect from the heart to people in a much, much deeper way. So I love this. What I love more than anything is actually meeting people face to face, you know? Actually being able to give you a hug and connect and have you come to class, or just say hi. So I really hope to see many, many, many more of you this year. It would be super beautiful. If you’re passing by Aruba, make sure you come by the studio, take a class, come say hi, have a smoothie. When I’m traveling about, traveling around, I hope to catch you guys. I hope to hug many, many more people this year.
[74:06] I would like to just end by wishing everyone a beautiful 2018! If you started out this year in a semi-crappy way, or if you had a hard year and you’re really looking for something different, set the tone for that right now. Make good choices. Make good decisions for yourself, for your health, for your body, for your family, for self love. Give yourself more of that loving-kindness that I hope is at the heart of all of our intentions for this year. Just, if you ever find yourself dropping into that doubt or that fear, just come back to that love, you know? Send it to yourself, because you need it, we need it, I need it, all of us, we’re all in this together. And this is going to be one amazing year. I can feel it in my bones. So, thank you for tuning in, thanks for the listening, and I will see you next week.
Third Love – thirdlove.com/heart
Sun Basket – sunbasket.com/yoga
Audible – audible.com/yogagirl