We’re having a baby! This is the story about how we found out…
We found out that we were pregnant at 2.5 weeks – a whole week and a half before my period was even late! Dennis, crazily enough, had a feeling all along that we were pregnant – he felt it from the moment of conception! To me it’s just the craziest thing ever. We had a very special afternoon on a deserted beach on the north shore… Let’s just say, this is going to be a beach baby for sure ☺ And immediately, Dennis started making pregnancy jokes. I think he cracked his first one in the car driving back home that very same evening! He couldn’t explain it, just that he had a very strong feeling, that something special had happened. I on the other hand had absolutely no clue. It wasn’t a time of the month that was “unsafe”, I’d just finished my period a day or two before even, and there was no doubt in my mind that I was very much NOT pregnant, no matter how much Dennis kept hinting. I was drinking wine, going about life as usual, and trust me, if I would have had the slightest inkling toward there maybe sort of kind of being a chance of me being pregnant, I definitely would have stayed away from the wine. But I didn’t – every time Den made a joke about “a bun in the oven” (whenever I took banana bread out of the oven after baking) or “planting seeds” (whenever we were out watering plants in the garden) or “eating for two” (whenever I took a bite into, well, anything) I just ignored him and carried on as normal. One night, at around 4 in the morning, I reached my arm out to hug Ringo, and felt such a shooting pain in my breasts that it woke me up. It woke me up! That’s how painful my boobs were. I was jolted awake and sat up, heart pounding in my chest. “Oh God”, I thought. “What if Dennis is right?” The mere thought of it was just so wild, so crazy… Too big to comprehend.
The next morning we went to the pharmacy and bought a pregnancy test. I peed on the stick, honestly not expecting anything than a negative because the thought was still so absurd to me, so strange, but there it was: a faint little line. The line was so faint though that we still weren’t sure! Does this mean that we’re pregnant? Does this count? We were so early in the pregnancy the test could barely register it, but I took it as an inconclusive test. I wanted to know for sure. We went and bought three more tests. The second one, again, had a very very faint line. The third one came out negative. The fourth one came out as “inconclusive” because I used it wrong (I thought we’d get a more certain result if I did the test in a plastic cup, but after we read the instructions it said to not use the test that way). Safe to say, we were going INSANE. That afternoon we made an appointment at a local medical center to get a blood test, figuring it would be the only way we could know for sure at this stage. We went in and of course, this being the tiniest island in the world where everyone knows everyone, there was a guy sitting in the waiting room that’s an old friend of Dennis. Dennis didn’t see him but went straight to the desk and said “we think we might be pregnant but we’re not sure – can we do a blood test here?” and the guy immediately stood up and yelled “CONGRATULATIONS!!!!” and proceeded to show us pictures of his 1-year old son. Yea. This happened. We didn’t even know if we were pregnant yet, and having the whole island know isn’t exactly ideal…. I think of it now and can’t help but crack up. We went in, they drew my blood and noticed how antsy we were to get the results. “Normally it takes a day to get the results back from the lab, but I’ll rush it for you. Come back in 45 minutes and you’ll know if you’re expecting a baby or not.”
We went to Starbucks. I ordered a soy latte, with a strong feeling that it may just be my last for a while, and I enjoyed the shit out of that latte. We held hands and I can honestly say, I’ve never had more butterflies in my stomach in my entire life. It was really like… We were on the cusp of something absolutely life changing. When our 45 minutes were up we went back to the clinic. The receptionist was smiling when she handed us the results. I opened the envelope and there it was, in writing: POSITIVE. “Congratulations!” she said. “You’re going to be parents!”. Walking out of the clinic I cried. We kissed. Holy fucking shit. THIS IS REAL. We’re having a baby!!!!! I spent the next week floating. Olivia was in Sweden and there was no one else I wanted to tell, so we kept it to ourselves and let it all sink in during week 3 (which is so insanely early in a pregnancy, most people don’t even know that they are pregnant!).
The crazy thing is – having a baby right now wasn’t part of my plan! It’s an amazing surprise, trust me, and we are beyond excited, but the way I’d planned out this year and next didn’t include me getting pregnant. We are opening a studio in December (a project that’s been kind of like a baby, too!), I had trips planned for this year that I had to cancel (Ecuador with 109, for instance – I couldn’t go because of the Zika risk) and I was planning to do a holistic counseling training next year that I’ll have to postpone. But it’s true as they say: there is no perfect time. Looking at it now, we are healthy, we are well off financially, we are building a new business that doesn’t require us to travel all over the globe, we love each other deeply… We’re ready. Even though it wasn’t exactly the way I’d planned it, now truly is the most perfect time.
Dennis has wanted a baby for a while now and one of the reasons I took some time off to go to a spiritual group in May was that I knew deeply that I wanted to work on myself before we started thinking about having a baby. I have had some unresolved issues with my mom and some underlying grief from things I’ve gone through the past years that I needed to resolve, and that’s exactly what happened. I left that group completely transformed, lighter, clear, focused, full of love. And BAM! The day after Dennis came back from Galapagos it happened. It’s almost as if the universe has been waiting to bring us a baby until I was ready… And the moment I was, there was no need to wait any longer. It feels so divine, the timing of this… Truly magical. I’m so excited to share this journey with you! New chapter. New life. LIFE IS SO AMAZING!