ENTER – EXHAUSTION.
Last night I fell asleep on the couch at 8pm… And woke up at 9am this morning. That means I slept for 13 hours! I missed dinner (Dennis brought home sushi) and don’t even remember dragging myself to bed at 11 pm. And I still feel tired! This is so nuts. But our little baby is the size of a grape right now! We have our first sonogram coming up next week, on the same day that we turn 10 weeks! I’m so excited I can barely contain myself. We’ll get to hear the heartbeat! There is something odd about these first few months, not being able to tell the world, keeping this big secret to ourselves… I’m feeling so much and not being able to tell people why is so difficult!
We did a big shoot for 109 this week which meant me having to stand in the sun for long stretches of time, and pretending all is fine when you’re super tired really sucks. I can’t wait to announce the pregnancy! We are traveling to Sweden and Holland soon so we can tell both our dads in person, and after that we’ve hit the 12-week mark and will finally be able to go public with our little poppy seed ☺ We’re still contemplating how to announce it… Via Instagram most likely, but how? Funny or heartwarming? Photo or video? Dennis has some insane ideas but we’ll see where we end up…
Also, this week the nausea has come back a bit – but only in the evenings! I actually much prefer that because I can sit on the couch feeling slightly sorry for myself complaining, guilt free. At the end of the week I had my first pregnancy meltdown (hoping it will be my last but intuition tells me otherwise…).
I suddenly got another unexpected symptom – my nose clogged up completely and I couldn’t breathe. Anyone who suffers from sinus issues knows just how awful it is, and the worst part was, absolutely nothing helped! I tried steaming with peppermint oil, used my neti pot every day, saline solutions, nasal spray… No matter what I did, it just got worse and worse. After a few days the blocked sinuses led to a massive headache that just wouldn’t go away, and then a sinus ache under my eyes that left me crying – actually crying – from pain. Since I couldn’t breathe through my nose at night I’d wake up every morning with my mouth dry, face stuffed and swollen, feeling like absolute crap. The third or fourth day I woke up with the same explosive headache I’d gone to bed with the night before, I had enough and snapped. I spent 30 minutes bawling my eyes out (which didn’t help my sinus issue) on Dennis’ shoulder. “What if I can’t do this??” was my main thought. Or what if this is what pregnancy is going to be, just getting more and more difficult and worse and worse and that’s what I’ll have to live with for the next months?
I always imagined pregnancy being this glowy, special time… This was NOT it. I eventually stopped crying and Dennis took me to the beach. Salt water cures most! Slowly things started getting a little bit better and a day or two later my headache disappeared. Stuffy nose, still present though. Let’s see what next week brings!